Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

Did ya'll have fun at DragonCon? I did! As always! So many sexy ladies to play with. The Lesbian Fairy approves! But alas, it is gone :( What does one do with a DragonCon badge after its over? Play with it! It feels nice and intense on My nipple.

I've been in love with suspenders since I was a little kid and I began my obsession with the movie, Godspell (shut up). I'll wear em all kinds of ways! The Just Suspenders On A Girl is old, but I like old. To Me, it's not just old... It's classic.  Tonight I rocked some swanky fun new ones I found at Goodwill. The flood of requests for Just The Suspenders flooded in, so here ya go!

Plans for another costume. Porn Star Cat Girl.

When I saw these, first I had flashbacks of bearskin rugs and their fake teeth and tongues. Then my brain went to Nerdland. If the centre of the platform is hollowed out like that, wouldn't they be less likely to hold Me up? Would the mouth snap? Hmmm.

Up until this week I've been fairly sure about My hair goals. Grow, baby grow! Suddenly, I'm not so sure anymore. Egads! To sum up the Hair Length Story for any newbies out there: Hair to My waist until age 13. Cut it all off super short, in a Single White Female sort of way. Kept it short throughout high school and some college. Let it grow back out from 1997 to 2010. It ranged from mid-back length to waist length. After much torture and abuse using bleach, cut My hair back to the Super Short look in 2011. And now I have this chin-length thing going on… I’ve been swearing up and down, since I had it snipped all off last year, that I was growing it back long. That I didn’t miss the Super Short thing that I rocked as a teen. But now I’m not so sure. It’d be easier to color. It’d be easy to maintain. It makes wearing wigs a lot easier, and I can always stock up on lots and lots of said wigs, for whenever I get the urge to have long hair. Here are some ...

Welcome to the Go Ahead And Laugh At Me edition of Songs Currently Stuck In My Head. Usually it annoys the fuck out of Me* when people’s initial and/or only response is “that song sucks!”. Insulting Me with your opinion is kinda stab-worthy IMHO. But this time you may giggle, snicker, or lawl at Me, but try not to be rude about it, ok kids? Don’t make Me turn this blog around and go home. Thanks to a good friend’s kids, the following two songs have been Crazy Glued to My gray matter for weeks: Yeah yeah, I know this drops Me into the Lame Teenage Girl category, but I think it’s got a fun beat and the lyrics are adorable. If dudes were that sweet more often, I’d probably be (slightly) less gay**. Whaaaaaaat? The beat is catchy! I can’t scrape it out of My head! I’ve tried! I even used one of those Scrape Ice Off Yer Windshield scraper thingies. That shit just hurt real bad and screwed up My sense of smell for a week. And thanks to a store I frequent, this song has been squatting in My b...

This bit of textual verbosity isn’t really part of any of the usual themes you find here on My blog. Though, I’m sure that, while being your usual deviant selves, you might come across such situations. There are so many annoying sounds out there in the world, and an infinite number of reactions to them. Some people cringe. Some people plug their ears. Some even claw their eyes out. (For the latter, a nice Hug Myself jacket and Thorazine will usually take care of the sounds.) But there are some voices out there that are so horrifying and frightening that there is only one thing a person can do to deal with it properly. Your butthole clenches up, with the might of 350 ton octopi tying a grocery bag into a knot. And they sound as your sphincter prepares for incoming assault is not unlike the vacuum-lock sounds used in sci-fi movies for air-lock doors on spaceships. Some people’s voices are so very, very, bad, that My tightening butthole will sometimes be tightened up in a Grip Of Death t...