Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

...and yer brain. Just sayin. *sigh* I know that we the folks in the Adult Entertainment Industry say it until we're blue in the face... but making generalizations about us sucks. It sucks and it uses too much teeth. Ow. Sure, some folks who do what we do don't care what gets said about us. And in a way I believe that it's a good mentality. But I'm the type of person who thinks that an educated hater is tolerable, where an ignorant one needs to be set on fire. If you know the TRUTH about who I am and what I do, and you still wanna hate? Cool. Have at it. But if you are guessing and generalizing and leaning on the stereotype crutch? Fuck off. Today I heard, yet again, more bullshit stereotyping about strippers. Yippee. Allow Me to use this blog post as a soapbox to set a few things straight, ok? Strippers are not always whores, drug addicts, stupid, etc. Yes, there are some dancers who hook on the side. Yes some provide extras in the clubs. Yes some do drugs. And hell ye...

I seriously hate having tan lines. I would MUCH rather have an all over tan. Alas, thanks to using buses and bicycles, I have super dark lower arms, then I have My basic tan from tanning at the beach, and then I have the pale spots where My Playboy bikini hides My skin from the sun. MEH!!!

Eh, sometimes. On Sundays, because I rarely work, I am all about cheering on My Jets. I totally have My green & white on. I was raised on NFL (amongst other sports) so yeah, right on! Mondays however... not so much. Mondays are My designated Door Wenching nights. Football and strip clubs, in My experience, are strange bedfellows. Either the club is a ghost town and tips suck, or the customers have their eyes glued to the flat screens and not the titties and again... tips suck. Once Upon A Time, at a club I worked at 3 years ago, I had a rather WTF REALLY? experience thanks to NFL + strip club. At this particular club in question, they had a secondary stage that was quite small compared to the main stage. It was a short runway, with a huge flat screen TV at the back of it. Customers could sit at either side of the stage. Nothing really weird about the set up, IMHO... but one time, during a football game which happened to be playing on said television, I was on this mini stage. Ther...

Nah, ending that quote is too easy... I keep promising to redo My entire website. Shame on Me! Most of the time I don't have the energy. I'm so picky that I want to do it all Myself, and to be honest.. right now things aren't SO lucrative that I'd be willing to hire someone else to do it. MEH. Soon... I really do swear. LOL I want to change up the overall look/layout, switch up the color scheme to fit My new look, update the galleries... I'd like to get a real store going, MAYBE a pay section, I'd love to get the comic going, a webcam portal for Myself and hopefully other ladies, and run My clothing line from the site as well. Argh. I am Lazy Perv, here me yawn.

I hate being sick. I become a big baby, I swear it! I want someone to feed me soup, brush My hair, and rub My shoulders. Hold My hand while I whine LOL! My cats are ok at the cuddly part, but they suck at fetching soup. I took Monday off from door wenching thanks to a fever of 101, aches, etc. Bleh! At this rate I might be out of commission all week, which is a pain in My wallet. If it gets any worse, I might be glued to My bed for a while, so the 365 photo project might be a Catch Up thing for a bit. Worst case scenario... I will post whatever days I miss in one post. I'll give stripping this, I don't need a doctor's note when I call out, and I wont get fired for it. And I'm sure some folks think "suck it up and work!" but really, who wants a lap dance from a contagious person? Ew. And smoke + breathing issues = DO NOT WANT.

In 1997 I got My first tattoo. The faded yellow rose you can kinda see under the newer outline. A tribute to My mother. :) This past January I had the option to splurge a lil and get some more ink. You see, as time passed, I grew unhappy with how the one lil rose looked on My chest. So this is what became of it! It's about 50% finished as far as the outline goes, and then it needs color. When it's done there will be a few more roses, all of them will be yellow, there will be buds to go with the Tiger Lily, which will be orange and brown, and there will be Black Eyed Susans, which will be yellow and darkest brown. I might even add a lil blue background to really make it colorful.

On Monday nights, at Tootsy's, I'm the Door Wench. I sit at the front door of the club, check ID's, and handle cash. Make change, charge admission (only for the under 21 crowd, Mondays are free otherwise), and take the bar fees from the dancers. Simple shit, despite some drama from time to time. Primary objective? Make sure the 18 - 20 year olds pay, get arm bands, and have heir hands marked. Also, chase away the under 18 jackasses. Fine. Not a hard thing to do overall. WELL! Tonight a kid came in with a Florida ID that had him at being 22. Yeah, he had a baby face, but that happens. Hell, most folks think I'm in my early 20s. Fine. Looked fine, had the hologram, the secondary photo, etc. Kid gets in. Cool. He asks what the drink specials are. Rather common question from the 21+ folks. Not very common for the underagers. They're usually "HUR HUR BEER". Later on, while my manager was standing next to me chatting, another kid comes into the foyer. He looks ...

Alas, due to things that make Me say OW, I am home instead of at Tootsy's. No Boobquaking for Me. But I hope the Quake is epic for everyone else.

Alas, by Full Moon I mean that lovely object in the night sky... So a guy came in today, and put a dollar in my tip bucket and said "here, this will help you get that tattoo removed!" ... My response was "Well at least it will cost me less than the procedure you're gonna need to save up for to get a bigger dick." Really... WTF was the point of insulting the woman who is going to LET YOU INTO THE TITTY BAR? Maybe his fetish is cockblocking himself before he even gets into the room with the women he has no chance with. Who knows! But that was just part of the Full Moon Madness that struck us at Tootsy's Cabaret this fine night. 99.99999999999% of the dancers tonight were INSANE. Drunks, lunatics, obsessives, floozies, and morons. I had one girl ask me, FOR FIVE MINUTES STRAIGHT, if she had REALLY paid her house fee. She had. 20 minutes earlier. It would have all been more tolerable if the tips hadn't sucked like Hoover's hooker neice outside of a bowli...

"Big Boobs = Fat. Okay? Skinny women cannot have big boobs unless they're implants or whatever. Point being; Large breasted women aren't usually popular, as they are usually overweight, take myself for example." Oh dear, sweet, crispy, Christ.

I have been battling insomnia and light sleeping since I was a wee little brat. Nothing new, but still... very unpleasant! Insomnia used to like to think of Me as it's BFF and that's not very groovy for Me. But the light sleeping still plagues Me. I can't sleep for more than half an hour at a time. Argh! I wake up exhausted even if I sleep for 12 hours! So it's been a few years since I've had a huge rash of Cant Sleep For Plural Days, with maybe oh... 3 or 4 instances of it in the past 2 years. We aren't as BFF anymore, thankfully. Figures that, today, I have a nice dose of it. But today? Of course, today when I have to go do battle in The Less Glamorous Job, aka Retail Hell... So as I type this, as I get ready to go to said retail job that I SOOO adore... I'm at 27.5ish hours with no sleep. Yep, since BEFORE I danced all night last night at Tootsy's. Cute, right? No, no not really. Cute like a stomach pump, as Daffy Duck once said.  No, I will...