Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

To Shop or not to Shop.... or is it Alas, poor face of mine, I shopped her well! Yes I use Photoshop on My images. Cameras are not perfect and neither am I but I damned well want to look like I could be. So a camera makes me look too Caucasian Pink, I adjust the reds vs yellows. I remove blemishes. I take out graininess. ONOES! FALSE ADVERTISING! In a world where an ad for MASCARA shows a woman wearing FAKE LASHES, and swimsuit models are Photoshopped to appear slimmer? I think I'm a minor offender here. Sheesh! And one last think, which may burn bridges, but hey, I'll bring the marshmallows. If you don't like that I am airbrushed, be it by a photographer, an art tech guy who edits for a magazine or website, or Yours Truly...bye bye! There are some rare photos out there on the web that are 100% untouched. Maybe you will find them as you walk into the setting sun, which had its color boosted 75% before it went to print.

You know those zits that are the size of Rhode Island, and never come to the surface? They lurk under the skin like painful trolls under a bridge, hiding and making life miserable? Whoever invented those needs to be kicked repeatedly in the genital area until death occurs. Just sayin. Ow. Fucking ow. I seem to always get them on My chin. Nowhere else. So not only are they painful, but they don't help My money either. Giant, swollen, painful chin. Cute. I mean really, who wants a stripper who looks like Jay Leno? Well, maybe this guy would but...