Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

I love Karma. And this is not going to be a discussion about any of the girls I've danced with who used that name. No, this is about the Real Deal. Karma. I consider Myself to be honest about a lot of things that some other dancers aren't honest about. If you accidentally tip Me a $50 instead of a $5, I will give it back to you. That's just how I am. Once, a girl dropped 14 $100 bills on the floor at the IR2. I gave it all back to her. I got some flack for that from other dancers. They would have kept it! Not Me... if I had been the one to lose My cash, I'd be SO thankful for it's return. Likewise if I tipped a $50 by accident. Dark clubs don't help eye sight. But anyways. A while back, several Mondays ago, was a case of Karma AND of the rare occasion that I won't hand back that big bill... There was this 20something douche of a dude in the bar. He had been there most of the day, drinking. By late night he was a Royal Asshat. He was pissing off the dancers, ...

Something in the news has me bristled... because I've seen/heard about this too often. FORT MYERS BEACH, Fla. — A man is charged with grand theft for allegedly swiping a stripper's tips from her garter belt. The crime happened at Fantasy's at the Beach off San Carlos Boulevard on Jan. 9. The woman told deputies a man, later identified as 19-year-old Ronnie Menard, told her he wanted a lap dance. When she came offstage and asked him if he was ready, he said he wasn't because he had to go home and get money. A few minutes later, the woman said Menard approached her again and asked her to sit with him. She sat down and said Menard was eager to receive the dance immediately. As he was insisting on getting the lap dance, the woman said she felt her garter snap and then Menard jumped up and ran out of the strip club. She yelled for someone to stop him, but he got away. The woman said she had $314 in her garter, which she had counted after paying the manager the house percenta...

I arrived to work yesterday to find out that there had been some cut backs to save money. Less bouncers, less door girls. My spot as Monday Night Door Wench is secure, since I don't get paid to do it. But less bouncers? Yeah. We had no issues Monday, but no bouncer on Monday is not awesome. Sometimes, shit DOES happen on Monday. Ugh. Ok yeah we have the manager and the DJ if anyone needs help but... I prefer 3 Big Dudes instead of 2. The manager can do his thing, the DJ can do his, and we'd still have security. Bleh! We had one girl who was dancing in the VIP room and was... ew. The guy's hand on her ass looked like he was using her as a bowling ball, if you catch My drift. Gross. She's such a skank. But the idea of using skanky strippers as bowling balls is LULZ. One girl has been having a lot of home issues. She commented that she felt silly that Tootsy's was the only place she felt safe to turn to. Part of Me acknowledges that one needs more solid folks/places in...

More dreams to discuss, or at least to put down on e-paper. In the first of the two dreams in question, I was at "Tootsy's" but, as always, it was a completely different looking bar. The stage was a runway only, and the majority of the seating in this small club were the chairs that went around the stage. This dream was short, but the main focus was that I was making VERY good tips on stage. Everyone was just handing over the cash! As it should be... heh! Ron, one of our bouncers, escorted Me off stage to a little back area where I was counting My tips. I was sorting them by bill type. $1s, $5s, $10s, $20s, etc. This is what I usually do. At one point, mid-count, I found a $3 and I laughed. Someone thought it'd be cute to make it and tip Me with it. In dreaming as well as in waking, I found this amusing. Once upon a time, there was a graphic made of a three dollar bill with My face in it, to go along with the phrase "queer as a three dollar bill" so I liked ...

My PC has been revived, restored, and reopened for business! So now to play a little game of Catch Up on this here 365 project. First up, here I am at My guard post at Tootsy's... the front door. I'm up in yer nudie barz, checkin yer IDz. The red lighting is a pain in the ass, but it's how it goes at the front door. This photo shows what My tips SHOULD be like. Often. It was a good night that night LOL so behold, My tip cups: If you haven't heard yet, I am in the process of taking My hair from Black light Blonde to white. Yes, you heard Me right. White. Because I wanna have some Make You Stare, super sexy Jean Harlow hairs . The shampoo and conditioner I use to get the yellow out of My hair is purple. Sometimes it makes My hair look like an Easter egg. LULZ. This is the current state of My hairs. Somewhat white in some areas. The roots and length in the back are being stubborn. Here I am, chillin at the PC tonight. All wrapped up in a comfy hoodie. Esche, the Kitler, is...

I figured, being in Florida, I'd have to quote Buffett sooner or later. Some highlights, lowlights, and Pro Tips from Monday at Tootsy's: * I measured and roughly sketched up Kaylee's tattoo. Very excited about this. * The manager taking away a dancer's cell phone smacks of Jr High, if we had cell phones when I was in Jr High... I remember having pagers taken away though! * Surprise Flan is better than Surprise Buttsex. * There is an art to Making It Rain. Paper money doesn't have much weight to it around here, so you have to toss it JUST right, or else you're looking like an idiot while you pick up the money (that you tried to give the hot chick) from the floor. Meanwhile she's waiting to leave the stage, and the other customers are doing the ol' Point And Laugh. * You might want to stop the drugs and drinking if, when on the spinning pole, you have to flag down a customer to spin you. Just sayin... * Getting spanked with money doesn't have to hurt....

Remember when strippers saw more of these? I do. But they're SO nice to see again. I hope to see them more often.

The rule still applies, Mondays might be shitty money nights, but they are NEVER boring. Tonight was a zany blend of drunksitting, skank drama, and decent money. One young dude spent a good deal of cash throughout the club. I must have made change for his $50s and $100s perhaps 7 or 8 times. Champagne and vodka bottles were ordered. Money rained a few times. It was nice to see that sort of action on a Monday. The NFL Curse* has been shite this year. A girl I have always disliked left in tears. I wasn't upset about it. Another girl and her wasted husband fought a bit right next to me. Sometimes I hate being stuck at the door. Can't run away from drama. Why is it that people will blurt the most stupid shit ever when trashed? Not so much WTF stupid, but Why Are You Mentioning Criminal Activity Loudly kinda stupid. Derp of the Night: "Naw man, I didn't get fucked up in here. I only had one drink in here. All the weed, pills, and coke I did...? I did those before I got her...

Another round of Monday Night Tumbleweeds.... thank you NFL! I arrived at Tootsy's at 6:45pm, and proceeded to get sucked into a debate about seating in a limo. LOL. Fevered brain = uh... huh? I loafed about at the VIP end of the bar a while, gabbing with Kaylee and sippin some booze. Got to emit love at Aenea as I always do on Mondays. At one point, a man in a wheel chair wheeled his happy ass ALL the way across the bar to where we were sitting JUST to tell us that the Meaning Of Life is "sex, drugs and rock N role HAR HAR HAR" before he wheeled away. We kinda had a .... moment. For sure. Despite my fever, sore throat, cough... I manned the door like the champ I am. The money sucked, and it was basically a ghost town all night. Again, thank you NFL... A run down of the customer highlights for the evening: * A small group of late 50-early 60something guys. Very cool dudes. Best tippers of the evening for Me. One of them kept wandering back over to the door to lament that ...

Ribbit. XD I got these stickers from some of the team when they ventured into Tootsy's last Monday. They stuck a few into My tip bucket along with some cash. Real nice dudes. :)

Now if you candidly asked a good number of strippers "how much money would you like to make?" I think the answer (be it facetiously or not) would sound a bit like... And for some chicks, that's per night. Heh. Now, gettin paid really nice each nice is AWESOME. It's not easy to do these days, not like the Good Ol Days of the 80s and 90s. Thankfully though, it still occurs. This is really the first time ever that I'm JUST dancing for the majority of My income. There was always another job. One with a steady, dependable paycheck and health benefits. So My idea of Good Night and Bad Night were always much different than the other chicks (see the 1st video above). If I went in to work without spending money to get there, and walked out with $50 for a 5 hour shift, that's not shabby compared to a lot of what non-strippish folks call "real jobs". But that really isn't the point of this post. The true point of this post is to reflect on what Chris said t...

Kiss My plaid! Rockin a sexy new skirt for the recent Naughty School Girl Party at Tootsy's. We all looked smexy, but alas, the party wasn't lucrative.

Once upon a time, in a strip club in Merritt Island, I used a hard plastic box as a tip collector/purse. I covered it in fun stickers. Said stickers amused many customers. The box has become a sort of legend from that time. Note the crack on the top of the box? That's from when I had to hit some douche bag customer upside the head. Oops.

Yes, I'm showing off the mad cash. Yes, I am that girl. LMAO! As much as I love the whole Make It Rain thing, I also love being tipped wrapped stacks. Muhahahaaa.

Size matters sometimes. ;)

I should have nights like this OFTEN lol. 99% of this came from one dude. I did ONE dance for him. That picture? That right there is $1187.00. Best. Night. Ever. Evereverever. I rock so hard right now it's probably offensive.

Sometimes, being a stripper is lucrative. I've always wanted to do the Nekkid, Covered In Cash thing. And I finally got to! Keep in mind, that there are at least 20 $20s in this pile of $$$ lol... and the cash actually extended down to My feet. Muhahahahaaa!

MOney and nudity go well together. Very good bedmates, IMHO. Just as nudity should be celebrated, I feel boatloads o cash should be too. So here's both! I had a great night at Tootsy's :)

So I lied. I ended up on cam anyways. Oops! It was better than I expected, but not lucrative this time around. Way different than iFriends. The basic chat is free so we did a lot of bullshitting, and I teased a lot. I wasn't about to get 100% nekkid for free! No one got a show in private, but one guy had Me do a scavenger hunt! Yup. Topless hunting. A q-tip, nail clippers, unopened soap, ice cream, a cat, etc. 15 tokens an item lol. It pissed off all the cheapos, they never got to see free pussy. Oops! But a few dudes were real sweet, and made My comeback to cam wenching rather tolerable LOL.

$100 isn't by any means an Amazing Stripper Night for most, but around here, around now? Sure. And it seemed like I did better than most. Also, not too shabby for having basically been a retired stripper for the past year or so. Hah! I looked amazing, IMHO, and in the opinion of People Who Count. This is the best I've looked in probably 4 years. Yay! Without surgery, I'm still very happy with how I look right now. Huzzah. My own horn, I toot it! Did some dances, had some drinks, laughed quite a bit, hung out with Wife #1. I tell ya what, though... it's gonna take some time to get used to the blonde/tan thing. My tits and hair GLOWED on stage. OMG! XD