Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

I love to yammer on and on about beauty and bath products. You haven't noticed? That's a mighty big rock you live under! Did you have to take out a mortgage on it? But yeah, I have an addiction to things like soap, makeup, lotion, and nail polish.  There are worse addictions out there. Like meth. And reality television.  Because if my obsessions, I do get a lot of folks asking about My list of All Time Faves. This would be a HUGE list. But I've decided to compile a small list of some that are at the top of said list.  It's also getting close to Christmas and My birthday so... I guess this blog post could be one of those Two Bird killing stones that you hear so much about.  Ready?   Onward!   First item that I adore is something that I also miss. Glam'Eyes mascara by Rimmel has to be the best mascara I have ever used. Ever. Proverbial hands are proverbially down! I curse the Makeup Gods for discontinuing it. I wept into My Cheerios for weeks ...

Remember the last time I casted on Twitch?   Me neither! I think it was about 3 years ago...   Oops.   But oh hay! Guess what? This year, on My birthday, I'm gonna cast!   So on 12/26, get yer pretty little asses to My Twitch page   THE TWITCH BITCH IS BACK!     I'm going to raid a friend's house and play some of them there vidya games! It'll be a hoot. Promise. I haven't gotten the exact time frame down yet, so keep an eye on My Twitter account for updates.   So here is a poll for ya'll. I need to pick what games I'm gonna play for a few hours. You can pick more than one! If you want to donate a game (on Steam) for Me to play on My birthday cast, please choose Other and type in what game you're donating!   Here's My Steam info iffn ya want it:   Steam   Steam wishlist   Which game(s) do you want to see on SquidMango's Birthday Cast? Aura: Fate Of The Ages Bastion Braid Darksiders Giana Sisters: Twisted...

That one is takin ya back, eh? So let's review My Xmas and birthday. One big, happy post. Christmas Eve I was the stand in Door Wench at Tootsy's. Not a big deal, didn't really have much else to do. Most of My family are in NY or on the west coast. So I dolled Myself up in My XXXmas best and even danced a bit before wenching, because there was only one dancer when I arrived. Oi... I was truly channeling Mrs Claus... it was the one time I felt ok with My haircut. I'm not really used to covering on weekends, so the shitty attitude of " BAWW I DON'T WANNA PAY SEVEN WHOLE DOLLARS TO SEE BOOBS BAWWWW! " was fucking annoying. Especially one toolbox who decided to try to take My picture before running out the door. He's lucky he had shitty aim or he'd be a dead fucker. Grrrr. I am not beyond using a sharpened candy cane to shank yer ass, buddy. It wasn't a bad night. We had fun. For the most part, people were doin the whole Xmas Giving thing so I didn...

I was gonna take My birthday off from the 365 but I felt that it was bad to pause during a challenge!

lyrics by Jack Johnson Insomnia is practically sprawled out on My comfy bed, snacking on bonbons, and reading trashy gossip rags. I swear it. Stupid cunt. So what am I doing? Yep. More wishlisting. It's only fitting anyways. My birthday has less than 3 weeks to go! Today I've added brocade slippers, purses, robes, and dresses. I've added comfy soft slippers, funky shoes, and Hello Kitty stuff. And most importantly, I've added incense and new burners. Scents are very important to Me, so I need to be constantly stocked with incense LOL. If I dont have some burning, or at least a scented spray on My pillows? Even when exhausted I can't sleep. Old wishlist , still has tons of stuff on it. Newer list with the newest additions.

When insomnia remembers that I'm her* BFF, decides to come over with ENTHUSIASM , and plants her fat ass on My lap, I tend to waste time with something fun and mindless. Window shopping. Or in the case of this wondrous, marvelous, far out age of computers ... Wish lists! And I might as well pad up the ol' list a bit anyways. It's less than a month until Christmas AND My birthday! So today I'm adding movies. I spent 8 years managing a movie store, so now I feel a bit behind on what is entertaining. And I USED to have a movie review blog. I'd like to revive it. Sexy Chick Talks Movies! News at 11! (someday that will be small compared to My collection) And to address the eventual comments such as: "Oh look at you with your nudity and your wish lists! Aren't you just a greedy whore!" Well... No, no not really... though there is a fetish for it! I love to shop. I love to collect. I ALSO love to gift to My friends, loved ones, and charities. Greed = shopping...

It may come across to some as... off, but every year I get emails asking what I want for Christmas and My birthday, so every year I post about it. I'll give you a few days to get over it. So the easiest thing for Me to do would be to link to My main wish lists: Here. And here. If browsing super huge lists of crap is too much, the easy route would be gift cards. Gift cards are always awesome. I'm always YAAAAAAY for gift cards from Sephora, MAC cosmetics, Walmart, Verizon, Claire's, ABC liquor, and/or Zynga games.

Fuck you, Boxing Day . And take St Stephen with you. Once upon a time, in 1977, your beloved Hostess was supposed to be born on Christmas Day. Yeah, and I was going to be named Noel. Thankfully, on that part, I was stubborn. My great aunt's dog was named Noel. Do I fucking look like Indiana Jones? Despite My penchant for whips... So 4ish hours late, there I was. All cute and newborn and cranky at the chilly hospital air. Happy birthday to Me. Oh, also Happy Boxing Day! For a while, it was rather ace to have a birthday the day after Christmas. Extra presents! Wooohooo! Oodles of gifts for miles. My mother's side of the family did well and, in general, the presents were a plenty. This was until I turned oh... maybe 12? Then it was "oh hay, have a combination present !" ... Let's examine this with some visual aids, shall we? This is a standard calender for the month of December. Do we see how the 25th and the 26th have separate boxes? Yes well, I tried to explain to ...

Now if you candidly asked a good number of strippers "how much money would you like to make?" I think the answer (be it facetiously or not) would sound a bit like... And for some chicks, that's per night. Heh. Now, gettin paid really nice each nice is AWESOME. It's not easy to do these days, not like the Good Ol Days of the 80s and 90s. Thankfully though, it still occurs. This is really the first time ever that I'm JUST dancing for the majority of My income. There was always another job. One with a steady, dependable paycheck and health benefits. So My idea of Good Night and Bad Night were always much different than the other chicks (see the 1st video above). If I went in to work without spending money to get there, and walked out with $50 for a 5 hour shift, that's not shabby compared to a lot of what non-strippish folks call "real jobs". But that really isn't the point of this post. The true point of this post is to reflect on what Chris said t...

I would like to wish a VERY happy birthday to one My most favorite people on the planet. The stunning Ms Cameron Keys. May there be much sexiness and macaroni art! And if you pervs don't know her yet, you should get to know her . She makes life all steamy and delish. So in her honor, a tired Me offers some boobies.