Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

It's Friday! Here around these parts, on Fridays we're gonna talk about all things Professional Deviance. Stripping, porn, BDSM, adult modeling, prostitution, sex toys, etc. If it pertains to adult entertainment or sex work, we talk about it on Fridays.   Something I've wanted to do a blog post about for a while, and have put off for FAR too long is How Stripping Prepared Me For Broadcasting On Twitch . Yep, that would've been the title of today's blog if I didn't have a weird thing for using song lyrics as My post titles...   I'm sure there are gonna be some folks reading this giant smear of words who have no idea what Twitch is, so let Momma Paige enlighten you.     Once upon a time, there was a site called Justin.tv and it was glorious. It was split up into a bunch of categories like Gaming, Pet Cams, Social, DIY, TV shows & Movies, etc. Anyone could sign up and start a channel. You could play video games, or stream a TV show (*cough* that w...

There is something about nudity that breaks the brain. That numbs the senses. That turns people kinda stupid.   Not all people, but enough to make the pattern quite noticeable.   One such nudity-induced derp is the inability to recognize a stripper when they have their Civilian Clothes on.     No, seriously... It happens to Me all of the time.   It's like some sort of Superman Syndrome.     Change Clark Kent's attire and no one knows who he is? Really?   Put jeans and a tee shirt on a stripper and people draw a blank? Jeebus...     Yeah yeah... I know. "But Paige, dudes at strip clubs aren't looking at your face LOL!" but really... they are. Most of the customers that I've entertained over the years have made excellent eye contact. Am I unusually blessed? I really don't think so.   When I'm at a strip club, I LOVE to People Watch. Strip clubs are amazing venues for such an activity. Add to that the 19.5...

Fuck yer gold rings. I'll take a brass pole over the gold rings any day! Back by popular demand, a parody I came up with some years back. I won't write out the WHOLE DAMN SONG, so you just get the list. Feel free to show it around, but please give me some props for the lyrics ;) The 12 Days of Stripmas is © Moi dammit. Don't make Me kick you. 12 strippers stripping (duh) 11 drunkards drinking 10 folded dollars 9 losers groping 8 bitches bitching 7 cheap asses staring 6 inch stilettos FIVE MORE SHOTS 4 purple bruises 3 stolen thongs 2 lines of coke and half my money goes to the bar!

I recently had the grand pleasure of ordering from Sin City Playwear . They have some seriously sexy lingerie , so how could I resist? I decided to go with the Stretch Velvet Kimono Mini Dress for Hallows. I've seen the outfit around on the interwebs and I've always liked the look of it. This is what the promo pic looks like: Now yes, My geeky inner voice shouted "NOT A KIMONO!!" but this should, in no way, reflect on Sin City. This title was given to the outfit by it's creators, not the companies that sell it. So My beloved costume/AZN aficionados, resume breathing now, k? Onward!! Whoever handles the orders and shipping at Sin City is/are champs. Serious champs. I hope they get lots of appreciative sex. Seriously. The outfit arrived so fast, I looked up from My office's mailbox to check for Superman. Holy speedy delivery! Major kudos there. I also had a great customer service experience via email. Alison sent numerous emails to Me, updating Me on status and ...

Trust. Let's talk about it shall we? Trust in titty bars? Well yes, but this is specific. This is about trust between a stripper and their Significant Other(s). A major work hazard of stripping is rocky relationships. The industry breeds insecurity, burn out, crankiness, and lack of trust. It sucks! But today we're gonna focus on the trust part. I've often heard tales of woe from my Strippery Sisters. Tales of their Other Halves being suddenly grumpy about the whole stripping thing. Demanding retirement even!! WTF?? Um... no. Be it a lover they've met while already stripping, or be it someone they were already involved with when they got into the biz... there has to be trust! It's just a job dagnabbit! If you trust your woman, there is no reason to want her out of the strip club. Yes, she will be in various states of undress. Yes, dudes will see that. But it's just nudity. Be proud that YOUR woman is smokin hot and desirable! Roll around in that pride!...

Ahhh Huey Lewis, how I adore thee... Sometimes it makes Me quite sad to see the State Of Things in the stripping world. I miss the better money flow of My early years, even the flow I merely observed, as a Non Dancing Employee, in the clubs during the 90s. A biggy that I would see that proves My point? Back in The Day, a girl could (and would) make enough off of the more commonplace Big Spender and then hand him off to another girl who hadn't made her $$ yet that night. Yep. It used to happen. Who really  sees this much anymore? Too much Cold Shoulder, cutthroats, the shite economy, etc... I miss classier herds of dancers too. Not so much the whole Gown Club thing as the way ladies held themselves... presented themselves. On and off stage. Meh. Call Me a sentimental old fool. Tis all good. But I'd kill for a time machine. Despite all of the Wacky Hijinx I could get into in other eras, I'd still pop by the 80s or 90s to get My stripper on like they used to.

Time to do the first review of a "strippish" song. Strippish? Yes. These are songs that mention strippers, stripping, and/or strip clubs in at least a few lines. I've heard tons of them, and a lot of them really are giving out the wrong messages! So, let's begin. Artist(s): Lil Jon & The Eastside Boyz (feat. Pleasure P & Shawty Putt) Song: Like A Stripper Lemme see you go round an round Lemme see you go round an round Lemme see you go round an round Lemme see you go round an round Stilettos, she in the middle of the floor Need a medal for all the junk up in her trunk Shawty dance like stripper She dance like a stripper She dance like a stripper When she dips in your patron Get to the party (party) like she workin on the floor Shawty got it (got it) when she drop it outta control Shawty dance like a stripper She dance like a stripper She dance like a stripper When she pop that catalog Shake it off (shake it off) Shake it down (shake it down) Don't stop (don...

Ok kids, let's talk about eye contact in strip clubs. Eyes communicate on their own. In their own way. They are VERY helpful to us dancin ladies. Here are some examples of customer eye messages that need to get lost: Darting your already nervous eyes around the club. This might infer that you don't trust us, you aren't sure if you SHOULD trust us, you think someone in the room is out to get you, or you're a shady creep who is probably looking to commit your 4th homicide. This look, for any and all of it's reasons? Strippers do NOT like it. Don't do it. If you MUST do it to survive? Go to a jewelry store or an airport and try that shit. Much more LULZ. The ever popular "I ain't impressed by dis here broad. I can fuck plenty of chicks hotter than her" smug smirk. With the crossed arms, and the far lean back on the chair. This is the face of a dude who thinks that every single female in the place, employee or not, is looking at him at all times a...

Had another Strip Club Dream. The big difference between this one and the others is that there were no people from any club I actually know. Usually someone I know/work with/used to work with is in the dream. Not this one. It was a HUGE club. Warehouse huge. Walmart huge. Jesus Fuck huge. A lot of dark woods and dark red leather seating. Very elegant place for something so massive. It was a classy club, and not the kind I could get into as is. Pink hair + lots of ink = Snowball In Hell. But there I was, and I was rockin it too. Of course, I could work the pole like mad in the dream... unlike Real Life. Someday I will learn 1337 pole skills. Someday! Another oddity in this dream was that none of the lockers had locks. The girls all trusted each other. Pfffffffffffthahahahaaahahahahahahahahahaaa don't we wish it were really like that? LMFAO!

Stripping is like Hotel California. There is always the possibility for checking out, but it sticks with you in certain ways. Not that I'm quitting, but even when I'm doing the most mundane things, there it is. Yesterday I spent some much needed time with a friend and her family. It was her, her husband, their 3 kids, his sister, and the sister's kid. Lots of awesomeness. At one point my friend asked Me to play DDR with them. Without even thinking about it, My reply was "Nuh uh, no dancing. It's my day off." Doh! :D

More dreams to discuss, or at least to put down on e-paper. In the first of the two dreams in question, I was at "Tootsy's" but, as always, it was a completely different looking bar. The stage was a runway only, and the majority of the seating in this small club were the chairs that went around the stage. This dream was short, but the main focus was that I was making VERY good tips on stage. Everyone was just handing over the cash! As it should be... heh! Ron, one of our bouncers, escorted Me off stage to a little back area where I was counting My tips. I was sorting them by bill type. $1s, $5s, $10s, $20s, etc. This is what I usually do. At one point, mid-count, I found a $3 and I laughed. Someone thought it'd be cute to make it and tip Me with it. In dreaming as well as in waking, I found this amusing. Once upon a time, there was a graphic made of a three dollar bill with My face in it, to go along with the phrase "queer as a three dollar bill" so I liked ...

I often dream about stripping. I have yet to delve into whether or not that is a good thing. The one thing that all of the stripping dreams have in common is that they are supposed to take place where I am currently working, but the club interior never looks right. Sometimes it's grand and better looking. Sometimes it isn't. Take the last two dreams for instance... In one, Tootsy's looked more like an old saloon. Lots of wood and a rustic feel to it. The stage, however... this I just don't have an explanation for. It was built more like the stage at the Fickle Filly out on Long Island. Plain, built into the wall like an alcove, and no pole. Barely room to walk around. The odd part? The stage floor was made out of mattresses. Yeah. Mattresses. Try fumbling around on those in heels! WTF. In the dream I had today, I was in this fancy club. The stage had tiers, and each tier had a pole or two, a fainting couch, and other swanky decor. The customers all had on tuxedos and go...

Rockin the New Year at Tootsy's!

Good morning blogging world, why are we awake? I'm feeling rather happy and bouncy, and My iTunes spit up a song I used to dance to back in NY. Love it so much

Now if you candidly asked a good number of strippers "how much money would you like to make?" I think the answer (be it facetiously or not) would sound a bit like... And for some chicks, that's per night. Heh. Now, gettin paid really nice each nice is AWESOME. It's not easy to do these days, not like the Good Ol Days of the 80s and 90s. Thankfully though, it still occurs. This is really the first time ever that I'm JUST dancing for the majority of My income. There was always another job. One with a steady, dependable paycheck and health benefits. So My idea of Good Night and Bad Night were always much different than the other chicks (see the 1st video above). If I went in to work without spending money to get there, and walked out with $50 for a 5 hour shift, that's not shabby compared to a lot of what non-strippish folks call "real jobs". But that really isn't the point of this post. The true point of this post is to reflect on what Chris said t...

...and yer brain. Just sayin. *sigh* I know that we the folks in the Adult Entertainment Industry say it until we're blue in the face... but making generalizations about us sucks. It sucks and it uses too much teeth. Ow. Sure, some folks who do what we do don't care what gets said about us. And in a way I believe that it's a good mentality. But I'm the type of person who thinks that an educated hater is tolerable, where an ignorant one needs to be set on fire. If you know the TRUTH about who I am and what I do, and you still wanna hate? Cool. Have at it. But if you are guessing and generalizing and leaning on the stereotype crutch? Fuck off. Today I heard, yet again, more bullshit stereotyping about strippers. Yippee. Allow Me to use this blog post as a soapbox to set a few things straight, ok? Strippers are not always whores, drug addicts, stupid, etc. Yes, there are some dancers who hook on the side. Yes some provide extras in the clubs. Yes some do drugs. And hell ye...

Yesterday I had about 12 hours of No Power in My condo. Electricity is such a wonderful thing, and I'm not even talking about violet wands right now! It started out as "upgrading the wiring" in the building... but by evening time, even FPL was involved. Sheesh. It made Me think of the power outs I've experienced while dancing. LOL I dunno why My brain always comes back to stripping. XD I remember a blackout once at Bubbles. This was a lil club I worked at in Cocoa Beach (almost neighbors with Patrick Air Force Base) a few years back. My current "little sister", Mia was working with Me at the time, and we were both rockin the black hair thing. We played Dirty Marco Polo in the dark for a while. It was fun! Even further back in My stripper history, was a black out at the Bear. This was the first club I danced at! Once upon a time, in Long Island far far away... we had a blackout at the Bear. It was summertime, so we opened up the back door to let in some air. ...

Eh, sometimes. On Sundays, because I rarely work, I am all about cheering on My Jets. I totally have My green & white on. I was raised on NFL (amongst other sports) so yeah, right on! Mondays however... not so much. Mondays are My designated Door Wenching nights. Football and strip clubs, in My experience, are strange bedfellows. Either the club is a ghost town and tips suck, or the customers have their eyes glued to the flat screens and not the titties and again... tips suck. Once Upon A Time, at a club I worked at 3 years ago, I had a rather WTF REALLY? experience thanks to NFL + strip club. At this particular club in question, they had a secondary stage that was quite small compared to the main stage. It was a short runway, with a huge flat screen TV at the back of it. Customers could sit at either side of the stage. Nothing really weird about the set up, IMHO... but one time, during a football game which happened to be playing on said television, I was on this mini stage. Ther...

I'd like to do more writing. I have ideas for working on a book or perhaps a few. What it's like to be Ms Deviant. Les souvenirs de Paige. I get told, quite frequently, that I should. LOL. And there is still the stripper comic that I'd like to get up on the net. All I need is an artist. And I think I'd really enjoy writing articles for magazines and e-zines. There are so many "hot chick writes about ________" these days, but I still want in on the action. I think it would be fun! I could write 'till I'm blue about sexy stuff. BDSM, being a Pro Dommes, stripping, porn, etc. But I think I could also have a grand time with something less sexy, but as seen by a sexy person. Sports, video games, gardening, cooking, etc.

I hate being sick. I become a big baby, I swear it! I want someone to feed me soup, brush My hair, and rub My shoulders. Hold My hand while I whine LOL! My cats are ok at the cuddly part, but they suck at fetching soup. I took Monday off from door wenching thanks to a fever of 101, aches, etc. Bleh! At this rate I might be out of commission all week, which is a pain in My wallet. If it gets any worse, I might be glued to My bed for a while, so the 365 photo project might be a Catch Up thing for a bit. Worst case scenario... I will post whatever days I miss in one post. I'll give stripping this, I don't need a doctor's note when I call out, and I wont get fired for it. And I'm sure some folks think "suck it up and work!" but really, who wants a lap dance from a contagious person? Ew. And smoke + breathing issues = DO NOT WANT.