Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

Oh Sally's , when you put your B1G1 nail polish display by the front door.... so evil!     12 polishes for less that $30 on a gift card. The happiness is real.   I'm going to give a short opinion on each, with a link to a professional pic of the color so you get a better idea. My phones don't always do them justice.   So let's review...     ORLY Left to right:   ORLY Nite Owl (20749) : A nice, shimmery taupe. Slightly warm in bottle.   ORLY Ingenue (20046) : Oh Em Gee... In love here! Shimmery pink and gold. It's a stunner!   ORLY Darkest Shadow (20823) : Extremely dark red with red glitter. Very sexy, very goth. Do love this over a red or a black base.   ORLY Gumdrop (20733) : The name makes Me think of pinks, but this pale, minty color is a lot of fun. Part of the teal spectrum IMHO, it looks great with My olive skin tone.   ORLY Midnight Show (20859) : A lovely, ultra dark blue.     OPI Left to r...

I love to yammer on and on about beauty and bath products. You haven't noticed? That's a mighty big rock you live under! Did you have to take out a mortgage on it? But yeah, I have an addiction to things like soap, makeup, lotion, and nail polish.  There are worse addictions out there. Like meth. And reality television.  Because if my obsessions, I do get a lot of folks asking about My list of All Time Faves. This would be a HUGE list. But I've decided to compile a small list of some that are at the top of said list.  It's also getting close to Christmas and My birthday so... I guess this blog post could be one of those Two Bird killing stones that you hear so much about.  Ready?   Onward!   First item that I adore is something that I also miss. Glam'Eyes mascara by Rimmel has to be the best mascara I have ever used. Ever. Proverbial hands are proverbially down! I curse the Makeup Gods for discontinuing it. I wept into My Cheerios for weeks ...

Shopping when you're a stripper is an evolved animal. New qualities, new attitude. Suddenly you look at a bra or thong in new light. Not only do you judge look, comfort, and price, but now you also take into consideration if it will be for work and/or play, how easy it'll be to get off on stage, and if it suits/matches outfits already in your locker. You like that new shade of Healthy Stimulated Clitoris pink nail polish, but will it glow under the black lights? Will it chip off of your toe nails due to your 7 inch heeled Maryjanes? The perfume counter at TJ Nickels has a lovely variety, but which do you like AND will inspire a boner on random strangers? Hell even food shopping can be changed by becoming a stripper. "Oooh I love me some artichoke dip but I can only eat that on Wednesdays cause it's my day off and artichokes give me wicked gas!" We also can't exclude how the cashier at Burger World or Shirtopia look at us when we pay for our purchases (no matte...

Net connection is thready, but here are 5 more photos!

My nails for Valentine's Day. Milani's Disco Lights over top of Bath & Body Work's Pebble.

Yay shopping! Time for a tiny haul post. Blah blah blah makeup... TL;DR... From Milani I got their nail polishes in Ruby Jewels which is a red polish with metallic red glitter, and Disco Lights which is clear with a ton of icy metallic pink glitter. I also got their Minerals pressed powered in True Beige , and their Lip Flash Shimmer Gloss Pencil in Flashy , which is a glittery hot pink sexiness. I also snagged Prestige's Waterproof Lipliner in Diva for rockin some hot pink eyebrows lol. I cant wait to use them! Beyond that, I snagged some purse-sized rollers of Curious , which is an awesome scent, despite being attached to Ms Spears LOL... I also picked up some candles that smell awesome. One is called Sweet Magnolia, the other is Fresh Cut Flowers. Yay!

Revived an old nail polish. I don't even think they make DEB anymore. This awesome green is called Mars. Yay green! I feel more springy now LOL

Name that song hah! The following blog post is girlie in nature and totally materialistic. Some chicks, sissies, and clueless shopping boyfriends might enjoy this post. Just wanted to make a post about the lovely items I got this past week. I'm feeling like it's still My birthday! I got two of these box sets of makeup . 72 eye shadows, 24 lip glosses (potted in the one case), 6 blushes, 3 nail polishes, 3 lip glosses (tubes) 3 pencils, a pencil sharpener, 5 shadow applicators (felt-tip), and 5 brushes. It's like playing with a rainbow on My face! And the delish Samantha gave the company's products a thumbs up so... yay! I also got a set of hair pretties that are tasty tasty. Pinks and grays all around! Huzzah. Flowers, rhinestones, all sorts of wonderful! Here's a blurry pic of it. Alas, the interwebs is not bringing anything up about it. I shall have to take pictures all stylin soon for ya'll! I also got some nice head bands in blacks and reds. Yay! And this c...

Amazon.com reminded Me of something that is kind of a staple in the whole strip club "subculture" as some call it. A lot of dancers, when they want to hide what they do from people who ask about their employment status, will say "Oh, I'm a waitress!" It's a very common occurrence. And it always makes Me giggle. Well, the other day, while leering at lovely nail polishes, I came across one by OPI that made me giggle hard. The name? I'm Not Really A Waitress . VERY nicely done, OPI. Kudos on the bow to us ecdysiasts!

My lovely, silver, "winter" nails. Heh. Yes, there are nails in this picture. For anyone who actually cares what the polish is, it's Sally Hansen's Chrome Nail Makeup in White Gold Chrome . It makes Me sad that I can only find them online now. These are genius polishes IMHO.

Despite the whole ubergoth/metal head thing being somewhat behind Me, I still rock the black nails from time to time lol

I miss the fuck out of My claws, but I can still rock some fun polish with these stubby lil things. Glitter FTW!