Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

That one is takin ya back, eh? So let's review My Xmas and birthday. One big, happy post. Christmas Eve I was the stand in Door Wench at Tootsy's. Not a big deal, didn't really have much else to do. Most of My family are in NY or on the west coast. So I dolled Myself up in My XXXmas best and even danced a bit before wenching, because there was only one dancer when I arrived. Oi... I was truly channeling Mrs Claus... it was the one time I felt ok with My haircut. I'm not really used to covering on weekends, so the shitty attitude of " BAWW I DON'T WANNA PAY SEVEN WHOLE DOLLARS TO SEE BOOBS BAWWWW! " was fucking annoying. Especially one toolbox who decided to try to take My picture before running out the door. He's lucky he had shitty aim or he'd be a dead fucker. Grrrr. I am not beyond using a sharpened candy cane to shank yer ass, buddy. It wasn't a bad night. We had fun. For the most part, people were doin the whole Xmas Giving thing so I didn...

Fuck you, Boxing Day . And take St Stephen with you. Once upon a time, in 1977, your beloved Hostess was supposed to be born on Christmas Day. Yeah, and I was going to be named Noel. Thankfully, on that part, I was stubborn. My great aunt's dog was named Noel. Do I fucking look like Indiana Jones? Despite My penchant for whips... So 4ish hours late, there I was. All cute and newborn and cranky at the chilly hospital air. Happy birthday to Me. Oh, also Happy Boxing Day! For a while, it was rather ace to have a birthday the day after Christmas. Extra presents! Wooohooo! Oodles of gifts for miles. My mother's side of the family did well and, in general, the presents were a plenty. This was until I turned oh... maybe 12? Then it was "oh hay, have a combination present !" ... Let's examine this with some visual aids, shall we? This is a standard calender for the month of December. Do we see how the 25th and the 26th have separate boxes? Yes well, I tried to explain to ...