Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

Ok I really wish a doctor could tell Me why I have the most fucky random cravings but without the pregnancy (I KNOW that I'm a medical circus but I'd love some... yanno... research?) . I spent a good portion of My adulthood sad about not being able to have kids before I was given a medical reason for why I cant. But I never found out why My body just lobs food needs at Me like a drunken psycho. It's not a medical emergency. It's not really a medical probelm. It's just annoying.   Like 4am rolls around and sudenly I want:   Chicken wings but only the kind from a Chinese buffet     Disco Fries! No squeaky, chew toy poutine. DISCO FRIES.     A triple order of hash browns from Waffle House. Each order needs to be smothered, covered, chunked, diced, and capped.   For those who are new to the gloriousness of Waffle House Hashbrowns, let me break down the terminology:   Smothered: Onions Covered: Cheese Chunked: Ha...

I know a lot of people were looking forward to Oh Honey No today, but issues with My health and family are getting worse. This entire week isn't looking good but we'll see.  

Welcome to Saturday, which is Mental Health day here in Blogtown. From now on I'd like to do weekly posts concerning mental health. My own struggles, how to help others, how to help yourself.   Today, since it's our first post, I'd like to start off by giving you a tour of My mental health history.   At the age of 4, I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression, Anxiety, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The therapy and the medications had begun. This was before the ADHD craze, so someone so young being medicated wasn't a common sight. Great, I was a freak already. Or at least that was My mentality by the time I hit Junior High.   To add to the issue I already had, I was also diagnosed with chronic insomnia at age 4. Lack of proper sleep doesn't really help poor mental health.   My depression never led to the point of wanting to die. For that I am thankful.   I was unfortunate enough to have a possibly schizophrenic step mother who was chums with My ...

I've whipped up an extensive New Year's Resolution list this year. Wheeefun. I wonder how many of them I will be able to get through? :D Do more online work, be it porno, phone sessions, etc, or find a decently-paying online job that's vanilla. To get back into a healthy shape. This includes 10 mile walks each day since the bike is broken. Also, gym membership. BOOBS! BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS! THEY WILL BE DONE! Finish my chest ink, get my (late) bunny ink, and work on a few other ideas. Get back into modeling and sessions a LOT! To have a song written about Me. To be on an album of novel cover. To be in a music video. To get all of my 21 arts/crafts projects going. And sell a decent amount of product. To get all of my 4 website projects back on track and fully functional. To get the condo into tip top shape. At least 4 of the 5 shelf bookcases for media. Hang up ALL the art that is stacked around. Better organize clothes, bath stuff, session equipment, work clothes, etc. (or have...

Sorry about missing Monday's picture post.. sick Paige is sick. x_____x Here we can see what it's like to be Me on a bummy, lazy day. In some comfy 'jammies as well as with My hair right after a bleaching.

Sick stripper is sick. Been out from work for almost 2 weeks! Ugh... And man am I just a big baby when I'm sick! All I want to do is curl up in bed and be pampered. :( And yes, I am sportin a sweater in this picture. A sweater. In Florida. Yup. I get cold VERY easily. Always have! Even though I spent most of My life in New York, I have always been 8 kinds of cranky once it's under 70 degrees. And air conditioning kills Me! If I'm in a very cooled room for too long, I get ear aches and sore throats and just general BLAH. So here I was, sick AND cold... in a comfy sweater that I had to unpack from the Winter Clothes boxes. It's a good thing I never threw them out when I moved south!

Yeah, a twofer... as promised. Felt a wee bit better today, so Wifey and I hit the beach across the street from My condo. The sun was good for what ails Me :)Behold, the Unglamorous Moi Sans Makeup. Hur hur. I love how empty My area of the beach is, I can hike up the back of My bikini to tan My ass!

I hate being sick. I become a big baby, I swear it! I want someone to feed me soup, brush My hair, and rub My shoulders. Hold My hand while I whine LOL! My cats are ok at the cuddly part, but they suck at fetching soup. I took Monday off from door wenching thanks to a fever of 101, aches, etc. Bleh! At this rate I might be out of commission all week, which is a pain in My wallet. If it gets any worse, I might be glued to My bed for a while, so the 365 photo project might be a Catch Up thing for a bit. Worst case scenario... I will post whatever days I miss in one post. I'll give stripping this, I don't need a doctor's note when I call out, and I wont get fired for it. And I'm sure some folks think "suck it up and work!" but really, who wants a lap dance from a contagious person? Ew. And smoke + breathing issues = DO NOT WANT.

All that walking and bike riding = yay.

Alas, due to things that make Me say OW, I am home instead of at Tootsy's. No Boobquaking for Me. But I hope the Quake is epic for everyone else.

Shitty quality phone camera is shitty.... Despite health issues and it being a Last Minute Coverage night, things weren't so bad at Tootsy's tonight. I was Door Wench Extraordinaire again, and it was gleeful at some points! Some groovy folks kept Me company. Some fun chicks made Me smile. Wife #1 worked, which is always good! Little Sister worked too. Cameltoe Salad FTW! Tips didn't suck. It wasn't enough to get the rest of My ink done on Friday, but it will work well towards bills. Ew, bills. My new makeup loves are NYC's Cheek Glow in Riverside Rose for My eyeshadow, and NYC'sLippin Large plumping gloss in Plum Tart. My sexymeter almost crashed.

Clearly, I had forgotten completely how much it hurts The Day After Dancing. Especially when one has taken off a few hundred years. Can I blame being blawnd, despite it being bottled? Just this once? I swear, every inch of My body is sore. I am in dire need of the most epic massage ever. Hell even My hair hurts. Anyone know hair massage? I'm about to have a long, steamy date. With My bathtub and a bottle of Eucalyptus/Spearmint bubble bath . And I sure wouldn't argue with you if you sent Me more... I might end up needing it in bulk!

I have been battling insomnia and light sleeping since I was a wee little brat. Nothing new, but still... very unpleasant! Insomnia used to like to think of Me as it's BFF and that's not very groovy for Me. But the light sleeping still plagues Me. I can't sleep for more than half an hour at a time. Argh! I wake up exhausted even if I sleep for 12 hours! So it's been a few years since I've had a huge rash of Cant Sleep For Plural Days, with maybe oh... 3 or 4 instances of it in the past 2 years. We aren't as BFF anymore, thankfully. Figures that, today, I have a nice dose of it. But today? Of course, today when I have to go do battle in The Less Glamorous Job, aka Retail Hell... So as I type this, as I get ready to go to said retail job that I SOOO adore... I'm at 27.5ish hours with no sleep. Yep, since BEFORE I danced all night last night at Tootsy's. Cute, right? No, no not really. Cute like a stomach pump, as Daffy Duck once said.  No, I will...