Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

Happy Caturday y'all. Whilst My Twitter has met a reasonable person's limit of cat pics, that's not why I'm here.   Today I'm here to tell you about the brain breaking experience that I was blessed with earlier today.     Browsing the Gates Of Heaven, AKA the cold soda selection at the gas station, My ears picked up on some teenage girls rambling on and on and on... About how amazing Miley Cyrus looked recently. They were molesting one of the girls' phone with their glassy little eyeballs. I suppose My watching them during a Cannot Even moment was obvious, because they stampeded over to My spot in front of carbonated nirvana, and proceeded to force Me to look at above mentioned Miley images. Mayhaps I look youthful enough to care, or mayhaps they assume that anyone equipped with a vagina cares, but they wanted My opinion on Miley's attire choices.   Correction... They wanted Me to echo their opinions on said attire. Alas, this was not meant to be! Th...

Before I get into this story of WTFery, I want to make it VERY clear that I do NOT in any way dislike people who have weight issues of any kind. I’ve had weight problems, I’ve dated chicks who the "norm" consider to have weight problems. NOW! Onto the fun… I was waiting in line at, of all places, Nature’s Table, for My chow. The very obese lady ahead of Me suddenly, and quite loudly exclaimed; “Ew this is fucking disgusting. It’s more disgusting than being gay!” My head snapped around and My brows shot for the ceiling at such speeds that there were actual sound effects heard by all. This behemoth cunt looks at Me and snears, “What? You got a fuckin problem? What are ya? Queer?” Adding in a lil dot dot dot for dramatic pause: … Soooooooooooooooooooooooo…….. I couldn’t get My brows any further up into My hairline, as just hiding up in My bangs wasn’t good enough for them. “Yes I am queer, actually. Please allow Me to clarify something here, for I do not wish to misconstrue. If ...