Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

Who is reviewing another bit of make-uppy goodness? Me! Oh yes, yes I am. Because makeup is crack. CRACK! So let's get to the good stuff, shall we? Macy's & Lancome are having a Gift special right now . Buy something of a certain monetary value, get the gift. Pretty straight forward. I've been eyeballing their eyeshadows for a while now, and this was a great opportunity to get the one I wanted most, and get some groovy freebies! The shadow palette I went with is called Mauve Cherie . I love the colors, love the glitter, and they're perfect colors for My hazel eyes. Here's the palette with the gift, including the swank bag. I picked, for My gift, the Renergie Lift Volumetry creme , Genifique concentrate , Visionnaire corrector , Aquatique shadow primer in Nude , Juicy Tubes gloss in Moulin Rose , and Hypnose Doll Lashes in So Black! ... Squee. This is the Mauve Cherie palette. The taupe and the black have great glitter in them. Not too heavy on the glitter, but i...

Today I found myself discussing romance twice. The first time, a coworker and I debated the current health status of romance. She says that it's dead. I say it's usually just comatose. Later on in the day, someone else gave Me the assignment to list some things that I think are romantic. So here we are. Gifting was an obvious topic. Don't get Me wrong, I like gifts. Giving and receiving. But there has to be some heart behind it. You can give Me flowers. Ok. You can give me flowers and have a deep love to go with it. Maybe give them on the anniversary of the day we met. Or in remembrance of the first time I said I loved you. Kudos on that idea! You could pick out the specific types of flowers that I love most. This shows that not only do the little details matter, but that you're willing to put effort into romantical stuff. I personally like to send cards. Sure, the romantical ones on birthdays and holidays... but also the Just Cause ones. But it's not really about t...

Oh the mailman was My buddy today! So exciting :D First off this tasty bit of headcandy arrived: Can't wait to rock the hell out of that. And then These two books arrived:

More pic updating. Argh I am so behind lol... First off, my new hairs! Rawr!! And boobies, of course. A relaxed day in a Tacky 70's Shirt that I love to collect. Moi at Mayhem , ordering some booze. Myself and My most favorite bartender and violent woman, Aenea. She is My River, and I am her Inara! Ready to rock the convention! The boots were a great tribute from a slave of Mine. Pool side FTW! Hair pulled back, most recent color scheme.

Name that song hah! The following blog post is girlie in nature and totally materialistic. Some chicks, sissies, and clueless shopping boyfriends might enjoy this post. Just wanted to make a post about the lovely items I got this past week. I'm feeling like it's still My birthday! I got two of these box sets of makeup . 72 eye shadows, 24 lip glosses (potted in the one case), 6 blushes, 3 nail polishes, 3 lip glosses (tubes) 3 pencils, a pencil sharpener, 5 shadow applicators (felt-tip), and 5 brushes. It's like playing with a rainbow on My face! And the delish Samantha gave the company's products a thumbs up so... yay! I also got a set of hair pretties that are tasty tasty. Pinks and grays all around! Huzzah. Flowers, rhinestones, all sorts of wonderful! Here's a blurry pic of it. Alas, the interwebs is not bringing anything up about it. I shall have to take pictures all stylin soon for ya'll! I also got some nice head bands in blacks and reds. Yay! And this c...

That one is takin ya back, eh? So let's review My Xmas and birthday. One big, happy post. Christmas Eve I was the stand in Door Wench at Tootsy's. Not a big deal, didn't really have much else to do. Most of My family are in NY or on the west coast. So I dolled Myself up in My XXXmas best and even danced a bit before wenching, because there was only one dancer when I arrived. Oi... I was truly channeling Mrs Claus... it was the one time I felt ok with My haircut. I'm not really used to covering on weekends, so the shitty attitude of " BAWW I DON'T WANNA PAY SEVEN WHOLE DOLLARS TO SEE BOOBS BAWWWW! " was fucking annoying. Especially one toolbox who decided to try to take My picture before running out the door. He's lucky he had shitty aim or he'd be a dead fucker. Grrrr. I am not beyond using a sharpened candy cane to shank yer ass, buddy. It wasn't a bad night. We had fun. For the most part, people were doin the whole Xmas Giving thing so I didn...

Amazon limits the number of items on a wish list. So I am not on Wish List #3 . I'm adding holiday stuff! :D

lyrics by Jack Johnson Insomnia is practically sprawled out on My comfy bed, snacking on bonbons, and reading trashy gossip rags. I swear it. Stupid cunt. So what am I doing? Yep. More wishlisting. It's only fitting anyways. My birthday has less than 3 weeks to go! Today I've added brocade slippers, purses, robes, and dresses. I've added comfy soft slippers, funky shoes, and Hello Kitty stuff. And most importantly, I've added incense and new burners. Scents are very important to Me, so I need to be constantly stocked with incense LOL. If I dont have some burning, or at least a scented spray on My pillows? Even when exhausted I can't sleep. Old wishlist , still has tons of stuff on it. Newer list with the newest additions.

It may come across to some as... off, but every year I get emails asking what I want for Christmas and My birthday, so every year I post about it. I'll give you a few days to get over it. So the easiest thing for Me to do would be to link to My main wish lists: Here. And here. If browsing super huge lists of crap is too much, the easy route would be gift cards. Gift cards are always awesome. I'm always YAAAAAAY for gift cards from Sephora, MAC cosmetics, Walmart, Verizon, Claire's, ABC liquor, and/or Zynga games.

Fuck you, Boxing Day . And take St Stephen with you. Once upon a time, in 1977, your beloved Hostess was supposed to be born on Christmas Day. Yeah, and I was going to be named Noel. Thankfully, on that part, I was stubborn. My great aunt's dog was named Noel. Do I fucking look like Indiana Jones? Despite My penchant for whips... So 4ish hours late, there I was. All cute and newborn and cranky at the chilly hospital air. Happy birthday to Me. Oh, also Happy Boxing Day! For a while, it was rather ace to have a birthday the day after Christmas. Extra presents! Wooohooo! Oodles of gifts for miles. My mother's side of the family did well and, in general, the presents were a plenty. This was until I turned oh... maybe 12? Then it was "oh hay, have a combination present !" ... Let's examine this with some visual aids, shall we? This is a standard calender for the month of December. Do we see how the 25th and the 26th have separate boxes? Yes well, I tried to explain to ...

I have yet to work at a club that will allow Me to sport these bad boys without a thong underneath LOL. So I usually rock a nude-colored one. Sometimes a hint isn't enough ;)

Replaced My most super awesome boots, with major help from an awesome friend. Here's one of the new ones next to one of the scuffed up, torn, glued together, re-glued, re-re-glued old ones LOL

The Green Dice Of Awesomeness. It took Me almost 8 years to get them, but they are finally Mine!! MUAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAAAA!*coughwheeze* Allow Me to elaborate. Once upon a time, our fair heroine moved to Florida and wished to continue Her career as a topless entertainer. So She ventured forth to the kingdom of Inner Room II. There She met the hero, the young Kyle. Kyle was of the land of Under Age Armbandia. The two hit it off greatly, and there was much revelry. Our fair heroine would admire the dice he wore while She gave him many wedgies and noogies and other such Happy Fun Abuse. For what seemed like ages, young Kyle would promise to make a necklace for our heroine, in Her favorite color... green! LOL so yeah, I finally got them! Yay!!!

I'm having a hard time picking My next Sexxy Brazil conquest. So I need some votes. Try to pick one from each category... and keep in mind that a lot of them have color change options. This romper... or This romper... ***** This shorts set... or This shorts set... or This shorts set... or This shorts set... or This shorts set... or This shorts set... or This shorts set... or This shorts set... or This shorts set... ******* Skirts? How about skirts! This skirt set... or This skirt set... or This skirt set... or This skirt set... ****** This dress... or This dress...

Today's photo goes nicely with yesterday's. Not only do I love glitter like the proverbial fat kid and his proverbial cake, I also love glittery things. And these are perfect for all of My massive hair! I used to go out to Orlando, to a specific shop, for My hair sparklies. I love My hair to death, and it's ever so much fun to doll it up with pretty things. You will definitely find many of these hair accessories on My wishlists!

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away (California) I was a cam wench on iFriends. Solo pr0n, girl on girl, an domination. Woot! That was oh... 10 years ago. I've decided to pad My wallet more than usual by going back to iFriends. This time it will be 100% Domination, tease, denial, etc. No pr0n at this time. I've gotten a cam upgrade, and all that's left for Me to do is finish updating My iFriends account to the site's likings. So yeah... coming soon to a webcam near you! Here's some shots to show off the new cam's HD-ness! Yeehaw :D (the first pic is clickable to enlarge)

It's so freaking sexy it hurts.

It's warm again and that means beach time! Good thing it's across the street! :D So I need a new bikini so that I might infect the beach with My fierceness. Updated wishlist here!

I've added some glittery goodness to My wishlist on Amazon. It's on the New Wish List . Don't forget to browse the Old One too!

I had recently stumbled upon an ad for this spa . I was drooling. But then I found they had a perfect package for Wife #1 and I... A Day At The Creek For Two Couples Creekside Citrus and Cedar Massage Couples Classic Manicure Couples Classic Pedicure Lunch for Two Complimentary Champagne Sounds good to Me!