Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

Finally able to upload some pics! Whew. Here I am gettin ready for the fiery red. My hairs look like Easter lol. Seriously. Easter hairs. The dye is in place! Dats some red! Muh hairs are on fire! Onoes! Crazy color, eh? Loved it! Wanna climb the mountains? In the darkness, the red still looks pink lol. More fire. This pic is older, kinda cheating. It was in oh.... 2005? I was always a cat lady lol. Bath time! I love Me some paranormal romance novels. Yay smut! Arrrrr! Here I was ready for the new Pirates movie. As in Depp, not as in porn. Hur hur. Playin with some new clip in hairs. Hahahahaaa. More fake hair silliness. I am obviously up to no good. I has a bunneh. It actually belonged to a friend's daughter. Dawwwww! Smoooooo! My froofy drink at Spooky Empire's Mayhem. Om nom nom booze. I like bling. Shiny!

Yep, another Monday, another attempt at catching up. Boobies! My bewbs are stayin warm at night! Music makes My nipples hard... This is the only way I can be rated G Oops, My bikini string is twisted... Nuff said! Glitteratti Frosty eyes FTW

everyone should smell the roses once a day... lol An adorable PJ shirt... Lucky Downy! Tis a bit cold in here... Meow! Too short, but I need the booze!

Havin a good boob day, despite being a little under the weather. And yes, one can have good and bad boob days, just like hair days.

Ribbit. XD I got these stickers from some of the team when they ventured into Tootsy's last Monday. They stuck a few into My tip bucket along with some cash. Real nice dudes. :)

It's been almost a year since I got this ink done. Sooooooo wanna finish it! ARGH.

Groping is fun. Self groping, quite like self sexing, is fun, but not as fun as when someone else is involved.

After a day at the beach, it's nice to just lay about and read. In this image, I'm reading a rather fun lil book that I snagged for a buck.

Yesterday I had about 12 hours of No Power in My condo. Electricity is such a wonderful thing, and I'm not even talking about violet wands right now! It started out as "upgrading the wiring" in the building... but by evening time, even FPL was involved. Sheesh. It made Me think of the power outs I've experienced while dancing. LOL I dunno why My brain always comes back to stripping. XD I remember a blackout once at Bubbles. This was a lil club I worked at in Cocoa Beach (almost neighbors with Patrick Air Force Base) a few years back. My current "little sister", Mia was working with Me at the time, and we were both rockin the black hair thing. We played Dirty Marco Polo in the dark for a while. It was fun! Even further back in My stripper history, was a black out at the Bear. This was the first club I danced at! Once upon a time, in Long Island far far away... we had a blackout at the Bear. It was summertime, so we opened up the back door to let in some air. ...

Welcome to the dressing room at Tootsy's. Like My pink? ;) It's funny, I used to hate all things pink. Now I rock it rather well.

I should have nights like this OFTEN lol. 99% of this came from one dude. I did ONE dance for him. That picture? That right there is $1187.00. Best. Night. Ever. Evereverever. I rock so hard right now it's probably offensive.

I don't have too many pictures of Myself at Tootsy's, so I had a lovely coworker snap one real quick before I went on stage.

MOney and nudity go well together. Very good bedmates, IMHO. Just as nudity should be celebrated, I feel boatloads o cash should be too. So here's both! I had a great night at Tootsy's :)

$100 isn't by any means an Amazing Stripper Night for most, but around here, around now? Sure. And it seemed like I did better than most. Also, not too shabby for having basically been a retired stripper for the past year or so. Hah! I looked amazing, IMHO, and in the opinion of People Who Count. This is the best I've looked in probably 4 years. Yay! Without surgery, I'm still very happy with how I look right now. Huzzah. My own horn, I toot it! Did some dances, had some drinks, laughed quite a bit, hung out with Wife #1. I tell ya what, though... it's gonna take some time to get used to the blonde/tan thing. My tits and hair GLOWED on stage. OMG! XD

new ETA for Tootsy's is 7pm

Yes, you heard Me right... I'm dancing at Tootsy's tonight. See the Where To Find Paige for more details. So grab yer wallets and get ready!

Shitty quality phone camera is shitty.... Despite health issues and it being a Last Minute Coverage night, things weren't so bad at Tootsy's tonight. I was Door Wench Extraordinaire again, and it was gleeful at some points! Some groovy folks kept Me company. Some fun chicks made Me smile. Wife #1 worked, which is always good! Little Sister worked too. Cameltoe Salad FTW! Tips didn't suck. It wasn't enough to get the rest of My ink done on Friday, but it will work well towards bills. Ew, bills. My new makeup loves are NYC's Cheek Glow in Riverside Rose for My eyeshadow, and NYC'sLippin Large plumping gloss in Plum Tart. My sexymeter almost crashed.

Alas, by Full Moon I mean that lovely object in the night sky... So a guy came in today, and put a dollar in my tip bucket and said "here, this will help you get that tattoo removed!" ... My response was "Well at least it will cost me less than the procedure you're gonna need to save up for to get a bigger dick." Really... WTF was the point of insulting the woman who is going to LET YOU INTO THE TITTY BAR? Maybe his fetish is cockblocking himself before he even gets into the room with the women he has no chance with. Who knows! But that was just part of the Full Moon Madness that struck us at Tootsy's Cabaret this fine night. 99.99999999999% of the dancers tonight were INSANE. Drunks, lunatics, obsessives, floozies, and morons. I had one girl ask me, FOR FIVE MINUTES STRAIGHT, if she had REALLY paid her house fee. She had. 20 minutes earlier. It would have all been more tolerable if the tips hadn't sucked like Hoover's hooker neice outside of a bowli...

Tis another crazy night at Tootsy's Cabaret!

Time for some Strip Club Customer Fail. The first is surprisingly common. That's just all kinds of dissapointing. The latter? Pathetic. Seriously full of Fail. 1) Going to a strip club with no money. No cash, no plastic. Nothing. Nada. Zippo. Zilch. It's especially mind boggling when these dudes are going to an unfamiliar club. One that may have a cover charge and/or a drink minimum... which is really common practice . Really guys? Did you honestly climb out from under a boulder 5 minutes prior to arriving at My place of work? Do you really think that strip clubs are the place to be if you are broketastic? 2) This one a fellow dancer, Alexis, told Me this past Monday... The DJ announced 2 for 1 shots. Alexis was sitting with a customer out on the floor. Alexis: "Hey, 2 for 1 shots! Wanna do a shot?" Customer: "Sure! You buy yours and I'll do the freebie!" Alexis: "Are you shitting me?!?!?!" I facepalm every time I think about this. What kind...