Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

Some days I love being a kinkster and being a part of the scene/profession. Some days I want to set people on fire. Slowly. One match at a time.   Go ahead and laugh. Think I'm kidding. Meanwhile I'm stockpiling matches like the Little Match Girl... of Hans Christian Andersen's worst nightmares come true.     Tee hee?   Look, I have been debating Financial Domination with other kinkster for years. YEARS. I have been standing up for a perfectly reasonable fetish, not just because other kinksters think it's a bad/fake fetish, but also because the Insta-Dommes of the internet are dragging the kink down into the proverbial mud.     I just can't stand by and let it happen. I'm too much of a stubborn Bitch.   Some of you know the term "Insta-Domme" from My past rants. For those new to this title, let Me explain.     Firstly, it's not just the financial domination fetish that gets these wanna be's. It's all over the kink spectrum...

Fuck yer gold rings. I'll take a brass pole over the gold rings any day! Back by popular demand, a parody I came up with some years back. I won't write out the WHOLE DAMN SONG, so you just get the list. Feel free to show it around, but please give me some props for the lyrics ;) The 12 Days of Stripmas is © Moi dammit. Don't make Me kick you. 12 strippers stripping (duh) 11 drunkards drinking 10 folded dollars 9 losers groping 8 bitches bitching 7 cheap asses staring 6 inch stilettos FIVE MORE SHOTS 4 purple bruises 3 stolen thongs 2 lines of coke and half my money goes to the bar!

Ahhh Huey Lewis, how I adore thee... Sometimes it makes Me quite sad to see the State Of Things in the stripping world. I miss the better money flow of My early years, even the flow I merely observed, as a Non Dancing Employee, in the clubs during the 90s. A biggy that I would see that proves My point? Back in The Day, a girl could (and would) make enough off of the more commonplace Big Spender and then hand him off to another girl who hadn't made her $$ yet that night. Yep. It used to happen. Who really  sees this much anymore? Too much Cold Shoulder, cutthroats, the shite economy, etc... I miss classier herds of dancers too. Not so much the whole Gown Club thing as the way ladies held themselves... presented themselves. On and off stage. Meh. Call Me a sentimental old fool. Tis all good. But I'd kill for a time machine. Despite all of the Wacky Hijinx I could get into in other eras, I'd still pop by the 80s or 90s to get My stripper on like they used to.

My PC has been revived, restored, and reopened for business! So now to play a little game of Catch Up on this here 365 project. First up, here I am at My guard post at Tootsy's... the front door. I'm up in yer nudie barz, checkin yer IDz. The red lighting is a pain in the ass, but it's how it goes at the front door. This photo shows what My tips SHOULD be like. Often. It was a good night that night LOL so behold, My tip cups: If you haven't heard yet, I am in the process of taking My hair from Black light Blonde to white. Yes, you heard Me right. White. Because I wanna have some Make You Stare, super sexy Jean Harlow hairs . The shampoo and conditioner I use to get the yellow out of My hair is purple. Sometimes it makes My hair look like an Easter egg. LULZ. This is the current state of My hairs. Somewhat white in some areas. The roots and length in the back are being stubborn. Here I am, chillin at the PC tonight. All wrapped up in a comfy hoodie. Esche, the Kitler, is...

lyrics by Francesca Battistelli How about a look behind the scenes? An in-depth photo post of what it's like in My batcave? It's not new pics ala 365, but it should be fun eh? My hood: (yes that's the shuttle, on the back of a 747, flyin by My condo) Ghost, the 20lb cat, loves My gay socks: She also loves My money: And My stripper shoes: Esche guards My bewbs: Vincent is My derpy boy. Love his WHY SO SERIOUS 'stache: Vincent with his mama, Cleo: Via is the littlest. Only 6 or 7 lbs! She's Cleo's daughter, from the same litter as Vincent. It's funny how they're littermates. Little Via with 15lb Vincent? LOL: L to R Cleo, Ghost, Vincent, Via: Esche has a very soft belleh. She likes to be told that she is the Softest Cat In All Of The Land: Big TV and little TV. I need a better entertainment centre for them: Mah DVDs. I totally need shelves for them. Want to get them all alphabetized. The ones in the centre itself are 3 stacks deep. The ones on top rise up ...

Back by popular demand, a parody I came up with some years back. I wont write out the WHOLE DAMN SONG, so you just get the list. Feel free to show it around, but please give me some props for the lyrics ;) 12 strippers stripping (duh) 11 drunkards drinking 10 folded dollars 9 losers groping 8 bitches bitching 7 cheap asses staring 6 inch stilettos FIVE MORE SHOTS 4 purple bruises 3 stolen thongs 2 lines of coke and half my money goes to the bar!

I figured, being in Florida, I'd have to quote Buffett sooner or later. Some highlights, lowlights, and Pro Tips from Monday at Tootsy's: * I measured and roughly sketched up Kaylee's tattoo. Very excited about this. * The manager taking away a dancer's cell phone smacks of Jr High, if we had cell phones when I was in Jr High... I remember having pagers taken away though! * Surprise Flan is better than Surprise Buttsex. * There is an art to Making It Rain. Paper money doesn't have much weight to it around here, so you have to toss it JUST right, or else you're looking like an idiot while you pick up the money (that you tried to give the hot chick) from the floor. Meanwhile she's waiting to leave the stage, and the other customers are doing the ol' Point And Laugh. * You might want to stop the drugs and drinking if, when on the spinning pole, you have to flag down a customer to spin you. Just sayin... * Getting spanked with money doesn't have to hurt....

Remember when strippers saw more of these? I do. But they're SO nice to see again. I hope to see them more often.

The rule still applies, Mondays might be shitty money nights, but they are NEVER boring. Tonight was a zany blend of drunksitting, skank drama, and decent money. One young dude spent a good deal of cash throughout the club. I must have made change for his $50s and $100s perhaps 7 or 8 times. Champagne and vodka bottles were ordered. Money rained a few times. It was nice to see that sort of action on a Monday. The NFL Curse* has been shite this year. A girl I have always disliked left in tears. I wasn't upset about it. Another girl and her wasted husband fought a bit right next to me. Sometimes I hate being stuck at the door. Can't run away from drama. Why is it that people will blurt the most stupid shit ever when trashed? Not so much WTF stupid, but Why Are You Mentioning Criminal Activity Loudly kinda stupid. Derp of the Night: "Naw man, I didn't get fucked up in here. I only had one drink in here. All the weed, pills, and coke I did...? I did those before I got her...

Now if you candidly asked a good number of strippers "how much money would you like to make?" I think the answer (be it facetiously or not) would sound a bit like... And for some chicks, that's per night. Heh. Now, gettin paid really nice each nice is AWESOME. It's not easy to do these days, not like the Good Ol Days of the 80s and 90s. Thankfully though, it still occurs. This is really the first time ever that I'm JUST dancing for the majority of My income. There was always another job. One with a steady, dependable paycheck and health benefits. So My idea of Good Night and Bad Night were always much different than the other chicks (see the 1st video above). If I went in to work without spending money to get there, and walked out with $50 for a 5 hour shift, that's not shabby compared to a lot of what non-strippish folks call "real jobs". But that really isn't the point of this post. The true point of this post is to reflect on what Chris said t...

I hate being sick. I become a big baby, I swear it! I want someone to feed me soup, brush My hair, and rub My shoulders. Hold My hand while I whine LOL! My cats are ok at the cuddly part, but they suck at fetching soup. I took Monday off from door wenching thanks to a fever of 101, aches, etc. Bleh! At this rate I might be out of commission all week, which is a pain in My wallet. If it gets any worse, I might be glued to My bed for a while, so the 365 photo project might be a Catch Up thing for a bit. Worst case scenario... I will post whatever days I miss in one post. I'll give stripping this, I don't need a doctor's note when I call out, and I wont get fired for it. And I'm sure some folks think "suck it up and work!" but really, who wants a lap dance from a contagious person? Ew. And smoke + breathing issues = DO NOT WANT.

This is what My day off turned into. Even hanging out at Tootsy's can be lucrative.

Yes, I'm showing off the mad cash. Yes, I am that girl. LMAO! As much as I love the whole Make It Rain thing, I also love being tipped wrapped stacks. Muhahahaaa.

Size matters sometimes. ;)

I should have nights like this OFTEN lol. 99% of this came from one dude. I did ONE dance for him. That picture? That right there is $1187.00. Best. Night. Ever. Evereverever. I rock so hard right now it's probably offensive.

Sometimes, being a stripper is lucrative. I've always wanted to do the Nekkid, Covered In Cash thing. And I finally got to! Keep in mind, that there are at least 20 $20s in this pile of $$$ lol... and the cash actually extended down to My feet. Muhahahahaaa!

MOney and nudity go well together. Very good bedmates, IMHO. Just as nudity should be celebrated, I feel boatloads o cash should be too. So here's both! I had a great night at Tootsy's :)

In 1997 I got My first tattoo. The faded yellow rose you can kinda see under the newer outline. A tribute to My mother. :) This past January I had the option to splurge a lil and get some more ink. You see, as time passed, I grew unhappy with how the one lil rose looked on My chest. So this is what became of it! It's about 50% finished as far as the outline goes, and then it needs color. When it's done there will be a few more roses, all of them will be yellow, there will be buds to go with the Tiger Lily, which will be orange and brown, and there will be Black Eyed Susans, which will be yellow and darkest brown. I might even add a lil blue background to really make it colorful.

So I lied. I ended up on cam anyways. Oops! It was better than I expected, but not lucrative this time around. Way different than iFriends. The basic chat is free so we did a lot of bullshitting, and I teased a lot. I wasn't about to get 100% nekkid for free! No one got a show in private, but one guy had Me do a scavenger hunt! Yup. Topless hunting. A q-tip, nail clippers, unopened soap, ice cream, a cat, etc. 15 tokens an item lol. It pissed off all the cheapos, they never got to see free pussy. Oops! But a few dudes were real sweet, and made My comeback to cam wenching rather tolerable LOL.

$100 isn't by any means an Amazing Stripper Night for most, but around here, around now? Sure. And it seemed like I did better than most. Also, not too shabby for having basically been a retired stripper for the past year or so. Hah! I looked amazing, IMHO, and in the opinion of People Who Count. This is the best I've looked in probably 4 years. Yay! Without surgery, I'm still very happy with how I look right now. Huzzah. My own horn, I toot it! Did some dances, had some drinks, laughed quite a bit, hung out with Wife #1. I tell ya what, though... it's gonna take some time to get used to the blonde/tan thing. My tits and hair GLOWED on stage. OMG! XD