Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

So I was heading to Tootsy's to work this past weekend, and there was a lot of condensation on the back windshield of My car. I rummaged through said car, looking for a paper towel or something that would help remove the water, but all I had was My bag of work clothes. So I yanked out a pair of Jenni boy shorts that I rarely wear but always take, and wiped the windshield down. Best chamois ever. Neon pink with neon yellow lace. I'm sure My neighbors were more confused than they usually are. I think I'm gonna market shammies in fun colors now. Teeheehee.

Are ya'll ready for another product review? Today's review is for a dress from BodyKandi.com . They have a gorgeous, and user-friendly website, and good prices! I was quite excited to peruse their wares. I ended up choosing this dress , with plans to use it for one of My UV parties at Tootsy's. I wasn't 100% positive that the ribbons would react under black light, but I was willing to give it a shot, and the dress is simple enough that adding to it wouldn't be an issue. Here is what it looks like on the model: I emailed back and forth with Shannon, who was a total sweetie, and the dress arrived in good time. Perfect timing, actually, for the event! This was how the dress arrived in the mail, complete with a nice note from the company! Very nice of them to do so :D Here's the dress, fresh out of the packaging: It came laced up with the pink ribbons, and had the green ribbons separately packaged. It also came with a matching thong. The thong is small on Me, low in...

Could it be? The finale for the 365 Project? YES! We made it! Everyone should read really good stuff. These are like textbooks, IMHO. Welcome to Tootsy's! Hur hur, the stripper isle at Walmart? Best nappin place ever? A bit of Azn style! Holy fuck where'd the hairs go? Yep, chopped it all off, for the first time in TWENTY years. Giving My poor hairs a fresh start. Om nom nom cherries. RIP Jani Lane . Check dem lil hairs! Keepin the red around a while I think. And there you have it! A year of images, free of charge, not so free of fun.

I love Karma. And this is not going to be a discussion about any of the girls I've danced with who used that name. No, this is about the Real Deal. Karma. I consider Myself to be honest about a lot of things that some other dancers aren't honest about. If you accidentally tip Me a $50 instead of a $5, I will give it back to you. That's just how I am. Once, a girl dropped 14 $100 bills on the floor at the IR2. I gave it all back to her. I got some flack for that from other dancers. They would have kept it! Not Me... if I had been the one to lose My cash, I'd be SO thankful for it's return. Likewise if I tipped a $50 by accident. Dark clubs don't help eye sight. But anyways. A while back, several Mondays ago, was a case of Karma AND of the rare occasion that I won't hand back that big bill... There was this 20something douche of a dude in the bar. He had been there most of the day, drinking. By late night he was a Royal Asshat. He was pissing off the dancers, ...

Yep, another Monday, another attempt at catching up. Boobies! My bewbs are stayin warm at night! Music makes My nipples hard... This is the only way I can be rated G Oops, My bikini string is twisted... Nuff said! Glitteratti Frosty eyes FTW

As promised, an update on the 365 project! Here's my new wig. Yay! I love how it looks. The wig. Yes there's hair in this picture. LOL! Rockin a bloo Tootsy's shirt! Havin some quality time with Captain Fluffy Pants Jr It means "tiger" Neener neener! Cause guys get so WHINY when I don't use lube... Meow! Can you tell I love this wig?

Kinda sorta back online. I hate AT&T. HATE! So, here we are, tryin to catch up on the 365 pics. Gonna do 5 at a time until we're back on track. Here I am, ready for work. I love being all sparkly and blingy with just a wifebeater. Heh! One of My favorite past times, making Neener face at the camera! Lazy Paige is lazy at home, but comfy! Ninji! He is up on Facebook now. Such a stud... Thinkin about.... Random pic is random. Not much to illuminate on here.

Just when you think you're going to spend your evening blogging, WHAMO! A shuttle launch happens and traffic mucks up about FIVE HOURS. My hairs are a bit lighter now but they still light My way in the club. Had a bit of a shaggy day today, however.

My hairs, they are like Electric Cotton Candy!

This is what you missed yesterday at Tootsy's! I hope everyone had a lovely Valentine's Day/Singles Awareness Day.

This blog post is directed to one Rod Stuart, who happens to be a very groovy dude and a friend of Mine. He rocks My socks. No matter how bad My nights are at work, he is always able to cheer Me up. He is the highlight of My time at Tootsy's, and when he isn't there I am very :( (heeheheee there ya go, Rod... yer own blog post!)

I arrived to work yesterday to find out that there had been some cut backs to save money. Less bouncers, less door girls. My spot as Monday Night Door Wench is secure, since I don't get paid to do it. But less bouncers? Yeah. We had no issues Monday, but no bouncer on Monday is not awesome. Sometimes, shit DOES happen on Monday. Ugh. Ok yeah we have the manager and the DJ if anyone needs help but... I prefer 3 Big Dudes instead of 2. The manager can do his thing, the DJ can do his, and we'd still have security. Bleh! We had one girl who was dancing in the VIP room and was... ew. The guy's hand on her ass looked like he was using her as a bowling ball, if you catch My drift. Gross. She's such a skank. But the idea of using skanky strippers as bowling balls is LULZ. One girl has been having a lot of home issues. She commented that she felt silly that Tootsy's was the only place she felt safe to turn to. Part of Me acknowledges that one needs more solid folks/places in...

Here I am, after work. Despite it being Just Sitting At The Door, I'm always exhausted by 0230. So I have minimal energy to scrape off the War Paint. I get the lipstick off and just kinda collapse at the PC. This is what you'd see if you were there for it: