Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

Back by popular demand, a parody I came up with some years back. I wont write out the WHOLE DAMN SONG, so you just get the list. Feel free to show it around, but please give me some props for the lyrics ;) 12 strippers stripping (duh) 11 drunkards drinking 10 folded dollars 9 losers groping 8 bitches bitching 7 cheap asses staring 6 inch stilettos FIVE MORE SHOTS 4 purple bruises 3 stolen thongs 2 lines of coke and half my money goes to the bar!

Once upon a time, a bit over a year ago, a fresh-faced, young lil stripper chick walked into our lives at Tootsy's. Lana was tiny, young, hyper, and expressive. I admit, I had a crush on the inked, silly, tiny Blasian girl who could work the pole like no one's business. She would climb up onto My lap, talk at Me about everything, and make Me smile. She would write Me poems. She would steal My gum. I'd get random lap dances and serenades. Unfortunately, as it can happen now and then, she got hung up with the Wrong Girls. The girls who feed the stereotypes of stripperdom. It started with doing drugs. Now, that isn't something I automatically frown upon, but it wasn't just a Here And There thing. The use got worse, then it went into selling, and then into dirty dancing, and eventually into hooking. It broke My heart to see someone with such promise and life turn into someone so faded and used up. And she was only 20 years old. Gone was the girl I got all twitterpated o...