Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

Sundays are about Arts And Crafts around here. Sometimes I'll blog about My own creations. Some days I'll highlight the work of others. Today we're gonna talk about dicks.   Have you ever woken up, fresh-faced and ready for the world, and thought to yourself...   "Self, today I'd like to masterfully color in a penis that looks incredibly not unlike a giraffe!"   Same.   In fact, that's pretty much me every day. Dick giraffes, dick dragons, dick narwhals. Guys! Sending dick pics is SO passé! Send dick art for us to color in. MUCH better!   Guess what, y'all? Now you can color in phallic things to your pretty little heart's desire, all thanks to a wonderful friend* of Mine, Aeo.     Aeo has gifted the world with The Dick Doodler, an adult coloring book, that comes in 2 sizes (Some day's you want a big dick , some days you might be a lil tender so go for a smaller dick . You don't have to be a size queen. There's no shame ...

Some establishments have dress codes. Some are just the choice of the owners, some are common sense. Like you don’t wear a ball gown to work at Arby’s. Like you don’t wear a bikini to a 4 star restaurant. Like you don’t wear jeans to the gym. Speaking of the gym… hey guys? Can you wear your gym clothes to the gym, but not to the titty bar? I know sweats and jogging pants are comfy and shit like that, but seriously? I DON’T WANT TO FEEL YOUR PENIS ON MY THIGH. This blog post is for both types of Gym Clothes Customers. 1st we have the dude who honestly doesn’t know that it’s creepy, gross, and skeevy to get lapdances while wearing gym clothes. There’d be less friction if I stuck a whisk up My cooter. Seriously. Kitchen utensils violating My uterus would be 100 times better than feeling your erection through polyester. Write this shit down because there WILL be a pop quiz. PS: I can’t speak for every chick out there who doesn’t hate the dick, but I personally think that any dude that wea...

She sure is a hottie. Muhahahahhahaa! I'd hit that.