Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

Appropriate lyrics by Halestorm. I've been doing Web Cam Porn, on and off, for about 11 years now. Almost 12! I started out as a 100lb scrawny goth chick and now I'm the booty-licious blonde. Much change over the years. Not just for My looks, but for how the web cam game as well. I've gotten VERY bored with solo work. YAWN! I don't even bother that much anymore, to be honest. I much rather do something really stimulating. Like wash My dishes. Or clean the cat boxes. So what's a gal to do? Go into another state of Retirement Limbo Whatever? Or find a partner in porno crime to do Girl On Girl and stick strictly with that? The latter option would pay the bills better than the former. Hmm... Or stick to fetish only? Kinda boring to be honest. Not quite as fun when there isn't someone physically there to berate and/or torment. And the sites I see these days either don't cater at all to BDSM cam gals, don't cater ENOUGH to them, or aren't lucrative. So ...

lyrics by Francesca Battistelli How about a look behind the scenes? An in-depth photo post of what it's like in My batcave? It's not new pics ala 365, but it should be fun eh? My hood: (yes that's the shuttle, on the back of a 747, flyin by My condo) Ghost, the 20lb cat, loves My gay socks: She also loves My money: And My stripper shoes: Esche guards My bewbs: Vincent is My derpy boy. Love his WHY SO SERIOUS 'stache: Vincent with his mama, Cleo: Via is the littlest. Only 6 or 7 lbs! She's Cleo's daughter, from the same litter as Vincent. It's funny how they're littermates. Little Via with 15lb Vincent? LOL: L to R Cleo, Ghost, Vincent, Via: Esche has a very soft belleh. She likes to be told that she is the Softest Cat In All Of The Land: Big TV and little TV. I need a better entertainment centre for them: Mah DVDs. I totally need shelves for them. Want to get them all alphabetized. The ones in the centre itself are 3 stacks deep. The ones on top rise up ...

Back by popular demand, a parody I came up with some years back. I wont write out the WHOLE DAMN SONG, so you just get the list. Feel free to show it around, but please give me some props for the lyrics ;) 12 strippers stripping (duh) 11 drunkards drinking 10 folded dollars 9 losers groping 8 bitches bitching 7 cheap asses staring 6 inch stilettos FIVE MORE SHOTS 4 purple bruises 3 stolen thongs 2 lines of coke and half my money goes to the bar!

I took O Christmas Tree, and stripper-fied it. This parody is © Me, Myself, and PDW INC. O Nudie Bar! O nudie bar! Thy smell is so unchanging; O nudie bar! O nudie bar! Thy smell is so unchanging; Not only stale with lots of beers, But also sprays and cigs and tears. O nudie bar! O nudie bar! Thy smell is so unchanging! O nudie bar! O nudie bar! Much headaches thou can'st give me; O nudie bar! O nudie bar! Much headaches thou can'st give me; How often has the nudie bar Afforded me the biggest pain! O nudie bar! O nudie bar! Much headaches thou can'st give me. O nudie bar! O nudie bar! Thy stage lights shine so brightly! O nudie bar! O nudie bar! Thy stage lights shine so brightly! From stage to pole, painf'ly bright, There's only strobes half the night. O nudie bar! O nudie bar! Thy stage lights shine so brightly! O nudie bar! O nudie bar! How poorly dudes have tipped me! O nudie bar! O nudie bar! How poorly dudes have tipped me! Thou bidst us sober and classy be, A...

So bored without My whole PC. Still unable to do 365 posts. Still unable to use My webcam. LAME! LAME I SAY! So welcome to a (probably boring) make up post. I snagged some new eye shadows from Sally's when I went on a quest for Hair Bleaching Implements. The first eye shadow is Femme Couture's Mineral Effects Baked Eye Color in Lotta Latte . The image that Sally's uses is a bit off. They used a VERY bright light IMHO the color isn't that pale. It's a little... darker. It's a cooler brown, not quite taupe but... and it has a hint of a pale, icy rose pink to it. Add to that a bit of fine gold glitter and POW! It's lovely. It is, however, a daytime or bright light kinda color. It's not very dark against My skin. It wouldn't show up well in the nudie bar.I do love it though. It's very pretty. The next eye shadow is from Sally Girl. The color is called Black Brown , but I think whoever named it was on crack. Doesn't look even close to black to M...

I figured, being in Florida, I'd have to quote Buffett sooner or later. Some highlights, lowlights, and Pro Tips from Monday at Tootsy's: * I measured and roughly sketched up Kaylee's tattoo. Very excited about this. * The manager taking away a dancer's cell phone smacks of Jr High, if we had cell phones when I was in Jr High... I remember having pagers taken away though! * Surprise Flan is better than Surprise Buttsex. * There is an art to Making It Rain. Paper money doesn't have much weight to it around here, so you have to toss it JUST right, or else you're looking like an idiot while you pick up the money (that you tried to give the hot chick) from the floor. Meanwhile she's waiting to leave the stage, and the other customers are doing the ol' Point And Laugh. * You might want to stop the drugs and drinking if, when on the spinning pole, you have to flag down a customer to spin you. Just sayin... * Getting spanked with money doesn't have to hurt....

Today's lyrical title is brought to you by Malvina Reynolds . So I am yet again plagued with PC issues. My PC is b0rked. So no 365 pics until it's all resolved. I can access the net while on the Ultimate Boot CD I have, but I can't do anything that requires Flash, I cant access the 365 photos on My desktop, and I can't use any of the programs on My C drive. Lame. This is a prime example of Bad Gay, for those of you who have been keeping up on this blog.