Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

Only awesome people recognize the Cunning Hat. Word. Geeks unite! See you kids next year :)

The super awesome sweater is only made more awesome by the pimpin coat. My neighbor's sheepdog just wouldn't shut up.

I think My next move is to acquire some Very Wide headbands to keep My horrid bangs back until they grow out. Thin headbands just make the bangs jut out in a choppy mess so... Here are some ideas: http://www.amazon.com/CARAVAN-3035-Caravan-Decorated-Headband/dp/B003ED9SSU/ref=sr_1_37?ie=UTF8&qid=1293664865&sr=8-37 http://www.amazon.com/Gifts-and-Beads-hb093-Headband/dp/B003MX75EG/ref=sr_1_28?ie=UTF8&qid=1293664838&sr=8-28 http://www.amazon.com/Gifts-and-Beads-hb005-Headband/dp/B003AGSZB2/ref=sr_1_31?ie=UTF8&qid=1293664838&sr=8-31 http://www.amazon.com/Colorful-Contrast-Matching-Overhanging-Comfortable/dp/B003EDH3MI/ref=sr_1_27?s=beauty&ie=UTF8&qid=1293665046&sr=1-27 this one is the PERFECT width! http://www.amazon.com/New-Piccolo-Headband-Alexander-Henry/dp/B003AGB0NC/ref=sr_1_51?s=beauty&ie=UTF8&qid=1293665168&sr=1-51 http://www.amazon.com/Luxurious-Stunning-Headband-Bargain-Headbands/dp/B0037ISGQW/ref=sr_1_98?s=beauty&ie=UTF8&qi...

Sometimes it's good to reflect.

That one is takin ya back, eh? So let's review My Xmas and birthday. One big, happy post. Christmas Eve I was the stand in Door Wench at Tootsy's. Not a big deal, didn't really have much else to do. Most of My family are in NY or on the west coast. So I dolled Myself up in My XXXmas best and even danced a bit before wenching, because there was only one dancer when I arrived. Oi... I was truly channeling Mrs Claus... it was the one time I felt ok with My haircut. I'm not really used to covering on weekends, so the shitty attitude of " BAWW I DON'T WANNA PAY SEVEN WHOLE DOLLARS TO SEE BOOBS BAWWWW! " was fucking annoying. Especially one toolbox who decided to try to take My picture before running out the door. He's lucky he had shitty aim or he'd be a dead fucker. Grrrr. I am not beyond using a sharpened candy cane to shank yer ass, buddy. It wasn't a bad night. We had fun. For the most part, people were doin the whole Xmas Giving thing so I didn...

Hmm... Someone decided it was a good idea to take a photo of Me whilst I slept. Tsk.

Sometimes I miss having super short hair.

I was gonna take My birthday off from the 365 but I felt that it was bad to pause during a challenge!

Bleh, still not liking the bangs but, I love the white hairs!

XXXmas boobies! Ho ho ho ya'll! Hope you have a groovy holiday, or just a groovy day if holidays aren't your thing!

Vincent got caught with My XXXmas outfit. I hope he wasn't gonna run around town in holiday drag...

Well we know what bleach can do to hairs. It fried the ends of Mine. fried em till they were nappy. So instead of hair past My bra and bangs finally grown to the chin... like this: I'm back to bangs. Bleh! I have a love/hate thing with the bangs Yes, I know that this is all My fault. If having so much hair = cheap to go to a salon to bleach/dye/cut it wouldn't be an issue for Me to do it at home. I wouldn't do it at home! You can see how fried it looks. FML! I'm cranky. Plus I'm not very good at cutting My own hair. So I'm gonna need to fund a trip to a salon. FML. So do I try to rock the bangs? With a bangs style not unlike: I mean, I want a look where I can be mainstream, or retro, or fetish, or porn star without drastic changes. One style that can be used in all those looks. Ugh. Last time I did bangs was when I had black hair and I just didn't feel it as much. Maybe now I will? So do I leave the bangs at their current length? It's an awkward length ...

Insert DAT ASS comment here.

Check My pimp coat, yo. My neighbor's sheepdog wouldn't shut up so... yeah.

We at the nudie bars believe that full moons = weirdos. It might be a general bar belief... who knows. It's jus been rare, in My experience, to find a bar worker who didn't believe it. Well! Tonight was a full moon AND a lunar eclipse. Jesus fuck Me running it was double nuts. It was 8 shades of crazy. It's still NFL season, so Mondays are usually Ghost Town Central. Not tonight. A bachelor party, a birthday party, just lots more customers than usual. One fight broke out with two guys who were definitely drunk but possibly also high functioning autistic. One of the two was a VERY large man, and when 6 people had to forcibly take him out of the club, it didn't go over well. I could tell he was scared, and his friend was very confused. I felt horrid about the whole thing. The club was very tense all night. Lots of drunks. Lots of irritated personalities. At the end of the night, two very nice young ladies came in. They didn't say much to anyone. All they did was hand ...

The view of the XXXmas tree from My favorite spot at the bar... by the touch screen game! LOL

I've whipped up an extensive New Year's Resolution list this year. Wheeefun. I wonder how many of them I will be able to get through? :D Do more online work, be it porno, phone sessions, etc, or find a decently-paying online job that's vanilla. To get back into a healthy shape. This includes 10 mile walks each day since the bike is broken. Also, gym membership. BOOBS! BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS! THEY WILL BE DONE! Finish my chest ink, get my (late) bunny ink, and work on a few other ideas. Get back into modeling and sessions a LOT! To have a song written about Me. To be on an album of novel cover. To be in a music video. To get all of my 21 arts/crafts projects going. And sell a decent amount of product. To get all of my 4 website projects back on track and fully functional. To get the condo into tip top shape. At least 4 of the 5 shelf bookcases for media. Hang up ALL the art that is stacked around. Better organize clothes, bath stuff, session equipment, work clothes, etc. (or have...

I love My fancy-schmancy shirt. I wish I could find the pants that went with it. It was one of the first outfits I had bought when I worked at Xpressions, LOL... so I've had it since the beginning of My illustrious stripping career!

I'm dreaming... of a strip club Xmas... o/` Happy hollerdays from Tootsy's Cabaret!

Contemplative whilst on the interwebs. This is a common sight.

Posting about Jennie has Me brooding over Dragon Con and how I always miss the convention. I have been missing a lot of conventions, but that's for another blog post. I really want to go to D*C next year. The idea of it has Me salivating. I also want to look awesome. This is a con for doing it up when it comes to costumes. It's the con for costuming for sure. I want to do at least one day in a Sari. I found a few that I'd like... need to narrow it down. http://www.utsavsarees.com/store/sarees-large.aspx?icode=SLSSW172 http://www.utsavsarees.com/store/sarees-large.aspx?icode=SKK9529 http://www.utsavsarees.com/store/sarees-large.aspx?icode=SLSZB227 http://www.utsavsarees.com/store/sarees-large.aspx?icode=SZB405A http://www.utsavsarees.com/store/sarees-large.aspx?icode=SLSZB57 But should I rock the sarees all weekend or go for some actual geeky cosplay too? Who would I dress up as? Emma Frost is cool (hur hur see what I did thur?): Or something anime? I loved the uniforms in ...

My Jennie Socks! They rock My world, I tell you what... Jennie Socks, for those who are uneducated about the awesomeness of Jennie: I know a wicked groovy lady who does an awesome webcomic . I have mentioned her in previous blog posts. There were even photos! Jennie has some epic boots . They are often depicted in said comic. My socks are quite like these epic boots. Thus, Jennie Socks.

Amazon.com reminded Me of something that is kind of a staple in the whole strip club "subculture" as some call it. A lot of dancers, when they want to hide what they do from people who ask about their employment status, will say "Oh, I'm a waitress!" It's a very common occurrence. And it always makes Me giggle. Well, the other day, while leering at lovely nail polishes, I came across one by OPI that made me giggle hard. The name? I'm Not Really A Waitress . VERY nicely done, OPI. Kudos on the bow to us ecdysiasts!

When the purple fades, I'm the gray-haired old lady LOL

I really enjoy sprawling out naked. It's freeing, and relaxing. Kinda naughty the first few times. Now it's so normal to Me.

I can remember when I hated My nose with a passion. With a passion that could rival Godzilla with a bee up his ass. Now, I embrace it. My mother, who was a Goddess in her own right, had the same nose. There are some amazing people in the world who rock a Less Than Tiny nose. People may laugh at My love for Babs but... she is sexy IMHO. So yeah. My nose is awesome.

My lovely, silver, "winter" nails. Heh. Yes, there are nails in this picture. For anyone who actually cares what the polish is, it's Sally Hansen's Chrome Nail Makeup in White Gold Chrome . It makes Me sad that I can only find them online now. These are genius polishes IMHO.

I have a new girl crush. Not in an I Want To Fuck Her Silly way. But in a younger or just less experienced girl crushes on the elder or teacher figure. I find it very interesting because the sugary sweet, perfect girls were always the ones that filled Me with spiteful rage as a teen. Now that I'm all adultified, I'm still not too keen on the Over The Top ones, but this woman is so cute and sweet and innocent that it slays any wall I would have thrown up to keep her away. She makes me smile, laugh, even GIGGLE ! She's a makeup and hair Diva , and I worship her. She does tutorials for makeup, tanning supplies, hair styles, etc. She also reviews makeup, hair products, skin care products, etc. I follow her Youtube . And her blog . And her Facebook . And her Tweets . I am indeedy an e-stalker, but the good kind. I'm nice, and sweet (to her), and I would totally bake her cookies and give her back and foot massages (she's pregnant!). OMG if she ever reads this, I swear I ...

I stumbled upon a lipstick I used to wear, and I couldn't remember why I stopped wearing it. The color is cute, the gloss it comes with is slick, and it's a long-lasting kinda stuff. I dig all that. It's Revlon's Colorstay in Perpetual Pink. So I wore it last night. Now I remember why I stopped using it. Because it takes a flail to get it off! Ow My mouth hurts :( I feel like I have a blowjob to a lemon-soaked Echinocereus.

A lazy day at home, rockin the frog hat.

ARE YOU THREATENING ME?!?!??!! LOL no really. I was reminded of something that happened at Tootsy's the other night. You know it's dullsville when a dancer, to prove that the customers weren't paying attention, tucked a piece of TP half out of her thong and wandered around stage like that. LAWL.

Insomnia time. Wish list boredom. What am I adding now? I was adding board games, puzzles, and marbles (I collect marbles), but now I'm adding art and posters. I want to finish decorating My condo. My living room is all in Marilyn Monroe art. I already have oh.. close to 20 pieces that I need to hang. My side hall is going to be all Audrey Hepburn. I have one large Print that ya'll have probably seen already. One side of the main hall is going to be framed puzzles I finish. I used to be addicted to doing puzzles. I miss them. I should get back into it. It exercises My brain. The other side is going to be all art/posters relating to NYC. I miss My home city. I only have one print so far, of Grand Central Station. I'm currently going to town on Amazon, wishlisting a lot of stuff. My kitchen is going to be all frog-related items. Right now I only have a few figurines. But when I'm done, everything from the figurines to the plates to the dish towels will be froggy! I don...

Want to squish the boobies!? XD

Easter head. I has it.

Amazon limits the number of items on a wish list. So I am not on Wish List #3 . I'm adding holiday stuff! :D

A proper Door Wench is trained in the art of guarding. So what could be better than having Guard Tits?

lyrics by Jack Johnson Insomnia is practically sprawled out on My comfy bed, snacking on bonbons, and reading trashy gossip rags. I swear it. Stupid cunt. So what am I doing? Yep. More wishlisting. It's only fitting anyways. My birthday has less than 3 weeks to go! Today I've added brocade slippers, purses, robes, and dresses. I've added comfy soft slippers, funky shoes, and Hello Kitty stuff. And most importantly, I've added incense and new burners. Scents are very important to Me, so I need to be constantly stocked with incense LOL. If I dont have some burning, or at least a scented spray on My pillows? Even when exhausted I can't sleep. Old wishlist , still has tons of stuff on it. Newer list with the newest additions.

Never been to Tootsy's? Or just never when I'm the gracious Door Wench? Here's what you'd be greeted by if you showed up!

Back on track! Today's teaser is a picture of a pair of Super Fun Rainbow Ghey Undies. I loves them, precious. Yeah, they're fullbacks... but sometimes those are awesome and/or comfy!

My PC has been revived, restored, and reopened for business! So now to play a little game of Catch Up on this here 365 project. First up, here I am at My guard post at Tootsy's... the front door. I'm up in yer nudie barz, checkin yer IDz. The red lighting is a pain in the ass, but it's how it goes at the front door. This photo shows what My tips SHOULD be like. Often. It was a good night that night LOL so behold, My tip cups: If you haven't heard yet, I am in the process of taking My hair from Black light Blonde to white. Yes, you heard Me right. White. Because I wanna have some Make You Stare, super sexy Jean Harlow hairs . The shampoo and conditioner I use to get the yellow out of My hair is purple. Sometimes it makes My hair look like an Easter egg. LULZ. This is the current state of My hairs. Somewhat white in some areas. The roots and length in the back are being stubborn. Here I am, chillin at the PC tonight. All wrapped up in a comfy hoodie. Esche, the Kitler, is...