Saturday, August 13, 2011

I'm in yer video game, pokin yer manz




Twitter can lead to odd things, such as this post, which is dedicated to combining the wild world of Pokemon with stripping.

Yes. You read that right.

LAWL.

So.... here's what weirdness insomnia + booze + Twitter + 100 hours of Pokemon Leaf Green can do:

If customers were Pokemanz, here's what we'd deal with:

Camerupt (the customer we all fear. Get him hot and bothered and he... erupts. Ew.)
Combusken (the hot head that is quick to ignite and brawl)
Exploud (the big mouth. Always has to talk shit and talk shit loudly)
Gastly (total creeper)
Grimer (dude needs a shower! AKA not everyone should come to the titty bar directly from work)
Kakuna (ew, Harden.)
Koffing (you know this guy, with his fatal throat cancer AND the 8lb cigar)
Lickitung (the ever popular licker.)
Marowak (so boneheaded and thick. Stubborn as hell)
Tangela (getting away from his tangle of grabby arms is impossible)

What if strippers were Pokemanz? I haven't made that list yet, but I'm sure Skitty would be involved. Until then how about our super awesome Stripper Pokemanz moves:

Attract
Assist (hello, 2 girl dances!)
Bounce
Captivate
Charm
Covet
Crush Grip
Detect (to find the big money spenders)
Double Team (again, 2 girl shows)
DoubleSlap (you know you deserved it)
Endure (putting up with all the bullshit)
Fake Tears (when a dancer doesn't wanna tip out the DJ)
Flash (on stage)
Frustration
Glare
Hypnosis
Mean Look
Mega Drain (yer wallet, bitch!)
Pay Day
Rage (when you fuckers don't tip)
Recover (after a long shift)
Rest (AKA hiding in the dressing room!)
Revenge (don't make me put lipstick on your collar)
Scratch (stripper fight!!!)
Seismic Toss (when I have the bouncer throw you out!)
Spikes (kicking with a stripper heel)
Sweet Scent
Teeter Dance (she's obviously had too many shots of Patron)
Trick Room (in the nasty clubs lol)

And the customers aren't immune to this list either... Moves customers use:

Bone Rush
Confuse (buying us too many drinks heehee)
Discharge (Ew)
Doom Desire (hello stalker!)
Eruption (omg EW)
Flatter
Harden
Lick
Sleep Powder (get away from my drink!)
Snore (yer that boring!)
Stringshot (ew)
Swagger (never works)

365 Days Of Photos: Days 357 - 365

Could it be? The finale for the 365 Project? YES! We made it!




Everyone should read really good stuff. These are like textbooks, IMHO.



Welcome to Tootsy's!



Hur hur, the stripper isle at Walmart?



Best nappin place ever?



A bit of Azn style!



Holy fuck where'd the hairs go? Yep, chopped it all off, for the first time in TWENTY years. Giving My poor hairs a fresh start.



Om nom nom cherries. RIP Jani Lane.



Check dem lil hairs!

Link

Keepin the red around a while I think.



And there you have it! A year of images, free of charge, not so free of fun.

Saturday, August 06, 2011

365 Days Of Photos: Days 349 - 356

Holy shit I'm back! I've been so busy with the new, non-glamorous job that I've been neglecting this blog. Shame on Me! Perhaps I deserve a spanking, but so few people get that privilege. Heh! So without further ado, pictures!

Is that Me rocking pigtails? Hur hur yup!



Couldn't stop Myself from coloring My hairs again! Burgundy over brown. Huzzah!



Just for fun, some light, pale makeup.



New LEI bra! Yummy!!!



Bitch be glittery, yo!



Daydreaming on the bus.



Taking a catnap. Literally.



I love this look, the keyhole cleavage. Something kinda sexy about it.