Saturday, October 29, 2011

I'm feelin' tragic like I'm Marlon Brando

I recently had the grand pleasure of ordering from Sin City Playwear. They have some seriously sexy lingerie, so how could I resist? I decided to go with the Stretch Velvet Kimono Mini Dress for Hallows. I've seen the outfit around on the interwebs and I've always liked the look of it.

This is what the promo pic looks like:



Now yes, My geeky inner voice shouted "NOT A KIMONO!!" but this should, in no way, reflect on Sin City. This title was given to the outfit by it's creators, not the companies that sell it. So My beloved costume/AZN aficionados, resume breathing now, k?

Onward!!

Whoever handles the orders and shipping at Sin City is/are champs. Serious champs. I hope they get lots of appreciative sex. Seriously. The outfit arrived so fast, I looked up from My office's mailbox to check for Superman. Holy speedy delivery! Major kudos there.

I also had a great customer service experience via email. Alison sent numerous emails to Me, updating Me on status and checking in about delivery. She always responded to My emails with much speediness. Gotta love this lady!!

I slipped into the dress for a Trying On and the sound that emitted from My face was somewhere between the post-amazing sex sigh and Thanksgiving food coma groan of bliss. This dress? Stretchy, velvety, comfy goodness. This has to be, hands firmly down, the most comfy costume I've every worn. Especially in the Strippery Costume category. I'd wear this dress so much it'd eventually become part of My skin... it's delicious feeling. Holy stuff.

The above mentioned stretchiness made it fit lovely. As a woman with more curves than the model in the promo pic, this is a blessing!! I am so fucking happy with the fit of this outfit. I'm still in a state of drooly awe after wearing it.

I've heard some chicks bitch about these kind of pre-packaged Strippery Costumes being "cheap" and "flimsy" but this dress? It's not. It may be of simple design but it is well made! I love it's simplicity and quality. Love. Much, much love. And a lot of people at the Hallows party last night, strippers and customers alike, flung compliments on it's look AND quality.

Stripper tested, stripper approved!!

To further attest to it's comfort, I spent the whole night at the club and felt good the whole time. No discomfort. No being Too Warm or Too Cold. No discomfort on the skin. No wardrobe malfunction. Huzzah!!

This is by no means an outfit that only works on Hallows.

As a stripper, this is something I'd rock often. And I'm not at a club where costuming is common throughout the rest of the year.

As a Dominatrix, I can see Myself utilizing this dress during some sessions and photo shoots.

Speaking of shoots, I look forward to bringing this dress along for modeling gigs.

This dress will also be fun at conventions like MegaCon and DragonCon.

Huzzah for multipurpose Strippery Clothes!!! I can't love it enough when an outfit becomes THIS useful.

Want to see how it looked on Me? Here we go!!!











So as you can see, great outfit!!! I recommend it to curvy chicks. To be honest, I just don't think it works on gals who don't, at least, have tits enough to work the keyhole on the top of the dress.

Just My opinion.

And I cannot toot Sin City's horn enough. Best initial experience ever. Looking forward to ordering from them again! I will be dropping their name (and url) all over. Facebookers, go give them a Like wouldya?

Sunday, October 23, 2011

And everyone just heard you let one rip...

Today's strippery topic is Farting.

Yes.... farting.

Gas.

Tooting.

Letting it rip.

Yes, strippers fart.

Why am I bringing this to light? Because I recently received an email asking if it's hard to hold it all in until AFTER work.

AAAAAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAAAA!!!!

No, really. Hold it on? All shift? Not gonna happen.

Hell, we aren't THAT mysterious and magical.

Ok maybe we are but we fart at work. Trust me.

Some girls might choose to let them out in the bathroom or dressing room....

But there will always be those who will use farts as weapons.

Yep.

Cheap, rude dipshits sitting at the stage? You might get gassed for being said cheap, rude dipshits.

Or if a hated coworker is up on stage after a Fart-weilding lass, there might be some Crop Dusting done on stage right as the last song ends...

But yes, Terry from North Texas... we fart (somewhere) at work.



It got you feelin like this can't be right...

Trust. Let's talk about it shall we?

Trust in titty bars? Well yes, but this is specific. This is about trust between a stripper and their Significant Other(s).

A major work hazard of stripping is rocky relationships. The industry breeds insecurity, burn out, crankiness, and lack of trust. It sucks!

But today we're gonna focus on the trust part.

I've often heard tales of woe from my Strippery Sisters. Tales of their Other Halves being suddenly grumpy about the whole stripping thing. Demanding retirement even!!

WTF??

Um... no.

Be it a lover they've met while already stripping, or be it someone they were already involved with when they got into the biz... there has to be trust!

It's just a job dagnabbit!

If you trust your woman, there is no reason to want her out of the strip club.

Yes, she will be in various states of undress. Yes, dudes will see that. But it's just nudity. Be proud that YOUR woman is smokin hot and desirable! Roll around in that pride! If there is trust and a strong, healthy relationship, she will come home to you and you alone. The fact that strangers are seeing your chick in her skin and a smile? Surface insecurity that can and should be squashed. Otherwise go find a retail chick or a suit chick.

Which brings us to trusting her actions with customers...

Lapdances...

The rumors of Extras...

But the trust! The trust, guys*!!

Do you trust your woman not to blow/stroke off/fuck her customers? If you don't, you shouldn't be with her. End of fucking story. This is a Giant Bucket Of Duh. Doesn't matter what she does for a living... if you don't trust her not to do other people? Time to say "adios" to that relationship or go get therapy if perhaps you just have trust issues in general.

To sum it up:

If she was stripping when you met her, and you knew about it? Tough shit. Pull up yer Big Boy Panties and get over yourself. Demanding she quit = fail.

If she started stripping while you've already been together, and she is a good, mentally healthy, trustworthy woman? It's just a job. One she might enjoy. One that has the potential to be lucrative. Suck it up or pay all her bills for her. It's not the Big Deal yer making it out to be.




*I say guys because most of the instances, that I see, of You Must Retire comes from Those With Penis. I'm in no way sayong that women or anyone else cannot/do not date strippers.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I Gotta Get Back In Time....

Ahhh Huey Lewis, how I adore thee...

Sometimes it makes Me quite sad to see the State Of Things in the stripping world.

I miss the better money flow of My early years, even the flow I merely observed, as a Non Dancing Employee, in the clubs during the 90s.

A biggy that I would see that proves My point? Back in The Day, a girl could (and would) make enough off of the more commonplace Big Spender and then hand him off to another girl who hadn't made her $$ yet that night. Yep. It used to happen. Who really  sees this much anymore? Too much Cold Shoulder, cutthroats, the shite economy, etc...

I miss classier herds of dancers too. Not so much the whole Gown Club thing as the way ladies held themselves... presented themselves. On and off stage.

Meh. Call Me a sentimental old fool. Tis all good. But I'd kill for a time machine. Despite all of the Wacky Hijinx I could get into in other eras, I'd still pop by the 80s or 90s to get My stripper on like they used to.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

if you ask me that really isn't classy....

So this sad looking chick got onto the bus today and started just losing her shit. Either she was a super newb stripper, a tweaker stripper, or just a classless stripper. Maybe it was a case of D) all of the above...


She got up on the bus and started declaring to all, "DON'T YOU MOTHERFUCKERS LOOK AT ME! I'M A STRIPPER MOTHERFUCKERS!! YOU MOTHERFUCKERS GOTTA PAY TO LOOK AT ME!!!"

As a friend once said, "oh honey noooooo."

I laughed loudly when she got the boot off of the bus. Bitch only lasted one stop....

Man I miss there being more classy, clued in strippers....