Mama Roux She Was The Queen Of The Little Red White And Blue

Don't think any of My music lyrics-based titles have ever been THIS spot on. (Get it? Roux sounds like Ru? Yes? No? Maybe?)

 

 

Aiden Zhane: I don't HATE this outfit, but it definitely doesn't wow Me, and promo pics should bring SOME wow. We all know that I'm super picky about colors matching. She has 3 blue parts to her outfit (earrings, feather wrist cuffs, and shoes) and each one is a different shade of blue. It irks Me. OK it's not the worst fashion faux pas but I still get irked by such things. However... the outfit does poke and prod at one of My biggest fashion peeves. Stiletto heels with pants. Especially tight pants/leggings. Drives Me absolutely batshit bonkers cuckoo (No not cucu like "do you like my cucu?!") It makes Me audibly hiss and/or physically flinch... Beyond that, the outfit just strikes Me as pretty plain. The only thing that registers on My Wow-O-Meter 3000 would be the makeup. It's very Mime Drag (is that even a flavor of drag? Who knows these days. Folks are just making up their own drag labels now and I'm 40 flavors of confused.) and I kinda like the whole classic mime aesthetic.

 

 

Brita: Oh Honey... Kinda? I admit that I like most of this outfit, but that hat just throws Me off. It doesn't look like it'd stay on whatsoever, so does she hold it all day? I think the hair on it's own goes well with that outfit, the hat is just too much. And My other issue is that the blue glove matches the fabric of her outfit, but the red glove is a random velvet? Dafuq? Did she run out of the brocade?

 

 

Crystal Methyd: This look is very 80's, and as much as I love the decade that took up most of My childhood, that dress is part of 80's fashion that I do NOT miss. It's the way the skirt looks like a bunched up trash bag. I can't do it. It's not OK. Stop. I like the huge convention of pearl necklaces happening around her neck though... but those tights. No Ma'am! I'd go insane every time My legs touched each other. I'd be a nervous wreck after an hour in them, fearing that the pearls would pop off if My legs brushed up against each other. And I am going nuts over the black gloves. Everything about this outfit is on point with the Red, White, and Blue theme except the gloves. Guh!

 

 

Heidi N Closet: Gurl... gurl.... GURL... why is your tulle all uneven? Did you just have a bunch of red tulle and no place to keep it? No Tupperware bins or closet shelf space? So what... you shoved it up by yer tuck to keep it safe? Cause it looks jagged as fuck. And the gloves. Why don't they fit? Is that a thing? Cause I hate it as much as I hate 3/4 sleeves and Capri pants. Stop. All or nothing, baby. Please. For the children.

 

 

Jaida Essence Hall: Someone call the poh-leece because that choker stole this poor girl's neck. Grant Theft Neck. I think it's finally been upgraded to a felony. Too many people were just doing the community service and starting right back up. Also, someone stole her enthusiasm, because she really looks like she does NOT wanna be there. I'm not here for it. Meh. It's a shame too because I really like the wig and dress.

 

 

Jan: This dress had promise, about halfway through construction. 1) The tulle needs to go. That open leg would be amazing as is, especially with the jagged cut of the skirt. 2) The white bib piece needs to go. Throw on some fake titties to fill the corset-style top of this outfit and it'd look sharp AF. 3) I'm not sure if it's the fabric in the lighting or what, but half of the skirt's length looks like someone tossed bleach on it, and THAT needs to go.

 

 

Nicky Doll: Am I wrong about this season's promo theme? Is it not Red, White, and Blue? Is it really Misplaced Mesh Bits? Cause the mesh situation* in this line up is giving me heartburn. Those gloves need a one way ticket to... an outfit where they blend well with the other components. With this outfit they seem like an after thought. Like she was thinking "Gee, my Salvador Dali ouija board planchette and these Basic Bitch Bargain Basement shoes aren't enough red. What else do I own?" Yeah that's the scenario I've got playing in My mind. And the stockings with the built in garters? 1) I hate that wide, Part Of The Stockings style garter. Get real garters or don't try. And I definitely don't like them over the panties here. I think an opaque thigh high set would suit this outfit more.

 

 

Sherry Pie: I'm not entirely sure if her red & white sash is applied at a wonky angle or if it's just her pose. Either way, it bugs Me. And each red part of her outfit is it's own shade. There's like... 4 shades of red here. 50 Shades Of Gray was bad, so is 4 Shades Of Red. Stahp. And then there's the shoes. Entire outfit... red, white, & blue... except the shoes. Silver? Really? Who doesn't own white shoes? Especially when you're going for a vintage look? Yikes.

 

 

Widow Von'Du: I think this one hurt My feelings the most. It's the proportions. The parachute pants hang loose at the knee and calf, so it makes her entire thigh look like it's part of unreasonably large hip pads. The top... or maybe how she stuffs... makes it look like her tits are on her shoulders. The hair looks too big for her face, and she has a long face, which makes it even worse. The overall odd sizing and shaping of things makes her look like a toddler in her Mom's clothes. Except the harness. That's not ok. Don't put your kids in those kinds of harnesses. Please. For the love of fuck... Then the style of the wig puts Me off. I don't like it. Not even a tiny bit. And the harness seems like an unnecessary afterthought. Does NOT go well with all the shiny shiny.

 

* - You can tell that I have been watching WAY too much Bon Appetit Test Kitchen because I'm starting to fling around the word "situation" too much. Oops.