Im Not Crazy Im Just A Little Unwell
Today, since it's our first post, I'd like to start off by giving you a tour of My mental health history.
At the age of 4, I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression, Anxiety, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The therapy and the medications had begun. This was before the ADHD craze, so someone so young being medicated wasn't a common sight. Great, I was a freak already. Or at least that was My mentality by the time I hit Junior High.
To add to the issue I already had, I was also diagnosed with chronic insomnia at age 4. Lack of proper sleep doesn't really help poor mental health.
My depression never led to the point of wanting to die. For that I am thankful.
I was unfortunate enough to have a possibly schizophrenic step mother who was chums with My Junior High's school psychologist. This guy's answer to ANY mental health issue was to have the kid admitted to a local mental hospital. I swear he had to have been getting kickbacks. I spent all of Junior High in Inpatient settings. 2 hospitals and a residential*. I got out in time for high school, but only because My father's health insurance refused to pay for any more inpatient care. Yay!
I suffered through high school and 3 colleges with the issues I'd been battling almost all of My life, having gotten very little actual help from the places I had been trapped in for 2 years. It wasn't until I was well into adulthood that another issue got tacked onto the list...
As I said before, when I was a child, the ADHD craze hadn't begun, so My ADD was missed... chalked up to a child with a genius IQ being bored in school. I wasn't diagnosed with ADD until within the last 10 years.
So now we're at Clinical Depression, Anxiety of some sort, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and ADD. All helped along by chronic Insomnia. I haven't been able to afford much therapy over the years, so I honestly don't know what form of Anxiety I have, or if there are any other disorders or whathaveyous that can be added to My list. And I haven't been on any medications for anything in ages. So needless to say, I'm a hot mess.
For a long time, I was deeply ashamed of My mental health issues. Honestly, I still am. But now I am able to talk about them, to an extent. I think this is a great step forward for Me. I'm one of the ones that firmly believes that a GOOD therapist and the RIGHT medication(s) can help SOME people. I am one of those people. I would give anything to get back into weekly therapy and I'd LOVE to get back on My meds. My use of arts & crafts, and talking to My friends are helpful, but I know that I need more than this. Maybe someday...
But yeah, that's a general overview of What Is Wrong With Paige D'Winter. Perhaps in future posts, I will get more in depth about the different issues I battle.
Do you think less of Me now? If so, the exit is right... there.
* - That Residential will probably come up again in the future.
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