Wednesday, August 29, 2012

I know you're tired of the things they say

This bit of textual verbosity isn’t really part of any of the usual themes you find here on My blog. Though, I’m sure that, while being your usual deviant selves, you might come across such situations.

There are so many annoying sounds out there in the world, and an infinite number of reactions to them.

Some people cringe. Some people plug their ears. Some even claw their eyes out. (For the latter, a nice Hug Myself jacket and Thorazine will usually take care of the sounds.)

But there are some voices out there that are so horrifying and frightening that there is only one thing a person can do to deal with it properly.

Your butthole clenches up, with the might of 350 ton octopi tying a grocery bag into a knot. And they sound as your sphincter prepares for incoming assault is not unlike the vacuum-lock sounds used in sci-fi movies for air-lock doors on spaceships.

Some people’s voices are so very, very, bad, that My tightening butthole will sometimes be tightened up in a Grip Of Death that I start to refer to it as My 2nd belly button.

I could make a fortune with enough carbon and a herd of Upper Class Prissy bitches from Long Island (Suffolk County, mind you) I could poop diamonds all the time! Just shove the carbon on in and sit back as the Hirschfeld Sisters from Speonk to read Me the Sears Holiday catalog, complete with their color commentary on how their uncle Saul can get Me much better deals on REAL leather coats! No lie!

We don’t get a lot of feedback here on this blog, mostly on My Facebook. C’mon kids! Join Me here and answer Me this? How does your body react to Vile Evil, Horrendous voices? I bet some of you are butthole clenchers too!!!!

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