Sunday, August 12, 2012

Don't talk with your mouth open

Before I get into this story of WTFery, I want to make it VERY clear that I do NOT in any way dislike people who have

weight issues of any kind. I’ve had weight problems, I’ve dated chicks who the "norm" consider to have weight problems.

NOW! Onto the fun…

I was waiting in line at, of all places, Nature’s Table, for My chow. The very obese lady ahead of Me suddenly, and quite loudly exclaimed; “Ew this is fucking disgusting. It’s more disgusting than being gay!”

My head snapped around and My brows shot for the ceiling at such speeds that there were actual sound effects heard by all.

This behemoth cunt looks at Me and snears, “What? You got a fuckin problem? What are ya? Queer?”

Adding in a lil dot dot dot for dramatic pause:


I couldn’t get My brows any further up into My hairline, as just hiding up in My bangs wasn’t good enough for them.

“Yes I am queer, actually. Please allow Me to clarify something here, for I do not wish to misconstrue. If something is gross, disgusting, or juts bad, it’s gay?”

“yeah…” Jabba The Slut drawled.

“And you say this because gay people and being gay is disgusting?” I asked.

She simply nodded her head, crossing her smug, overconfident arms of meat and fat over her tree trunk of an upper body.

“Ok thanks, I get it now.” I said, “From now on when I see something gross or disgusting or just plain ol shit… I’m going to say “Ew, this is disgusting! This is so FAT BITCH!”

And I turned, salad in hand, and sauntered My fine behind back to work.


Hearing that cuntasaurus squawk and cuss as I walked away was music to My ears.