Friday, November 04, 2011

I be looking for labels, I aint looking for love

Shopping when you're a stripper is an evolved animal. New qualities, new attitude.

Suddenly you look at a bra or thong in new light. Not only do you judge look, comfort, and price, but now you also take into consideration if it will be for work and/or play, how easy it'll be to get off on stage, and if it suits/matches outfits already in your locker.

You like that new shade of Healthy Stimulated Clitoris pink nail polish, but will it glow under the black lights? Will it chip off of your toe nails due to your 7 inch heeled Maryjanes?

The perfume counter at TJ Nickels has a lovely variety, but which do you like AND will inspire a boner on random strangers?

Hell even food shopping can be changed by becoming a stripper.

"Oooh I love me some artichoke dip but I can only eat that on Wednesdays cause it's my day off and artichokes give me wicked gas!"

We also can't exclude how the cashier at Burger World or Shirtopia look at us when we pay for our purchases (no matter the total) in smoke-scented singles...

And of course you now look at thongs and lipstick as tax write offs.