Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

Gotta rock that glitter!

Superbitch to the rescue!

I love the Bambis. No, not the dancers use it as a name (which seems silly, since Bambi means Small Child). I mean the newbies. I call them Bambis because they remind Me of that gangly animated fawn, out on the iced-over pond. Heh. I love to watch them up on stage, whipping out every move they've seen from other dancers, music videos, and late night Cinemax movies. But it's kinda like that game that kids play at camp, Telephone. It starts out clear when the trained pro does it, but by the time it filters through the Bambi brain, and gets to the Bambi hips, legs, etc... it's warped and wrong. So adorable. And sometimes, they get BETTER with practice and time. SOMETIMES. Some are just b eyond hope or help. And then you get to watch them learn the skills of the Stripper. Much like the animated fawn, they have to learn the right words. D... D... DANCE? It's so sweet to watch them grow and learn.... to blossom into real strippers. And it's fun to reflect on My Bambi days...

Ok so who ordered the funbags? :D

Just when you think you're going to spend your evening blogging, WHAMO! A shuttle launch happens and traffic mucks up about FIVE HOURS. My hairs are a bit lighter now but they still light My way in the club. Had a bit of a shaggy day today, however.

Yes I wear glasses. I need to get a new pair, however. These ones are a tad scratched.

Tried to get a pic of DAT ASS but My camera kept going out of focus :( Time for a new camera?

I get My love of ethnic looking head scarves from My Italian, Sicilian, and Libyan genes LOL

I'm a fraggle!

Let's take a moment to talk about trash. I don't mean table scraps and junk mail in a Hefty bag... I mean trashy people. It's really hard to hide trash. They don't really make trash camo. But some folks sure do try! You can slap on a gown and pearls but you're still gonna get bombed on Pabst and talk shit about the other beauty queens back stage. They can take you to Le Bernardin and you're still gonna stuff the silverware into your John Deere purse. Clive Christian perfume and a Marc Jacobs dress wont cover up that nickel-plated church key in yer mouth.

Havin a good boob day, despite being a little under the weather. And yes, one can have good and bad boob days, just like hair days.

There isn't much that I find more smexy than a nice ass in denim.

You know it's gonna be a kick ass concert when yer wristband has pirates on it...

My hairs, they are like Electric Cotton Candy!

This is what you missed yesterday at Tootsy's! I hope everyone had a lovely Valentine's Day/Singles Awareness Day.

Happy Valentine's Day ya'll! Here's what I'm wearing to work for the event LOL you can't go wrong with roses!

My nails for Valentine's Day. Milani's Disco Lights over top of Bath & Body Work's Pebble.

Something in the news has me bristled... because I've seen/heard about this too often. FORT MYERS BEACH, Fla. — A man is charged with grand theft for allegedly swiping a stripper's tips from her garter belt. The crime happened at Fantasy's at the Beach off San Carlos Boulevard on Jan. 9. The woman told deputies a man, later identified as 19-year-old Ronnie Menard, told her he wanted a lap dance. When she came offstage and asked him if he was ready, he said he wasn't because he had to go home and get money. A few minutes later, the woman said Menard approached her again and asked her to sit with him. She sat down and said Menard was eager to receive the dance immediately. As he was insisting on getting the lap dance, the woman said she felt her garter snap and then Menard jumped up and ran out of the strip club. She yelled for someone to stop him, but he got away. The woman said she had $314 in her garter, which she had counted after paying the manager the house percenta...

I'm barely into My pink hairs and I'm already plotting the next round of coloration! LOL I'm thinking of something fiery with UV reactive colors. Cherry Bomb , Nuclear Red , Napalm Orange , Hi-Octane Orange , and Bright As Fuck Yellow . Would you like an idea of what the colors look like? Cherry Bomb: Nuclear Red: Napalm Orange: Hi-Octane Orange: Bright As Fuck Yellow: Sexy fucking UV reactive fiery goodness! Perhaps I'll get it to blend like this:

Whoa... this email says I can have a bigger dick in a week!

Had another Strip Club Dream. The big difference between this one and the others is that there were no people from any club I actually know. Usually someone I know/work with/used to work with is in the dream. Not this one. It was a HUGE club. Warehouse huge. Walmart huge. Jesus Fuck huge. A lot of dark woods and dark red leather seating. Very elegant place for something so massive. It was a classy club, and not the kind I could get into as is. Pink hair + lots of ink = Snowball In Hell. But there I was, and I was rockin it too. Of course, I could work the pole like mad in the dream... unlike Real Life. Someday I will learn 1337 pole skills. Someday! Another oddity in this dream was that none of the lockers had locks. The girls all trusted each other. Pfffffffffffthahahahaaahahahahahahahahahaaa don't we wish it were really like that? LMFAO!

Out and about on a rainy day. Dayglow hair: check. Cranked iPod: check. Super warm Jets coat: check!

Yay shopping! Time for a tiny haul post. Blah blah blah makeup... TL;DR... From Milani I got their nail polishes in Ruby Jewels which is a red polish with metallic red glitter, and Disco Lights which is clear with a ton of icy metallic pink glitter. I also got their Minerals pressed powered in True Beige , and their Lip Flash Shimmer Gloss Pencil in Flashy , which is a glittery hot pink sexiness. I also snagged Prestige's Waterproof Lipliner in Diva for rockin some hot pink eyebrows lol. I cant wait to use them! Beyond that, I snagged some purse-sized rollers of Curious , which is an awesome scent, despite being attached to Ms Spears LOL... I also picked up some candles that smell awesome. One is called Sweet Magnolia, the other is Fresh Cut Flowers. Yay!

There's a whole lotta pink goin on...

Last blonde/white pic for a while! Took this before headin to the salon. Love the headband. It's adorable!

So I finally took the plunge and went pink. I took My happy ass to the salon and had the awesome Jennifer work her magic. First she nuked the color in My roots. The bleach was a fun blue. I'd rock that as a hair color. Pink dye is happenin! It's a bottle of Cupcake Pink with 2 Tbsp of Cherry Bomb . Then came the wait. Lots of waiting as the color soaked in. We had a lot of folks stop and poke their heads into the salon to compliment the color! POW! Look at that sexiness! My cell phone makes it look a touch darker than it really is... ...but the web cam washes out the color. It's not this pale. But yeah, there you have it! I am SO happy!!!

Another of My favorite "looks" is a cropped tank or a sports bra with a white work shirt. Yum!

Strip club lockers are like dryers. Shit gets lost. Socks, garters, body spray... it ends up falling into some void in the back of the damned locker. In some other universe, there is a black, black void. In this black void floats all the missing stripper gear. A single pink fishnet thigh high floats by. A rogue thong zooms past your head. It's like Peter F. Hamilton sat in a Victoria's Secret dressing room and wrote a novel about it. You will give up hope on that limited edition pink lip gloss and go through your mourning period. You will move on to a new shade, because deep down in your heart you know that Placid Pussy Pink would want you to move on and find happiness. After months with Melodious Mauve, what happens? The Void spits your beloved lost gloss back out and you have to go to couples counseling with both shades. Or you can go strip in Utah and keep them both. Maybe start a lip gloss harem. It's so common that it becomes totally normal shit to hear a stripper squ...

The shampoo and conditioner I use to get the yellow out of My hairs for that lavender/white thing? Yep. Lookit that purrrrrrrrrrrrrple! :D

This Todd Oldham shirt is a favorite of mine. It's almost metallic. Found it at a thrift store for a quarter.

Snapped a quick pic for ya'll before I headed out for the evening :)

Revived an old nail polish. I don't even think they make DEB anymore. This awesome green is called Mars. Yay green! I feel more springy now LOL

Wifebeaters are love. Comfy and sexy, in a trashy kinda way LOL

As I've mentioned before, I wanted My Playboy bunny logo tattoo last year for the 5 year anniversary of posing. Didn't happen but I still want the memorial ink. I've decided against putting the ink on my hip area. Too much of a chance of stretching. Ew. I've thought of shoulders, back, butt, etc... nah. No thanks. Now I'm thinking either calf or ankle area. Oh, and the black logo will have a UV outline. Nice, yeah? So here are some images of ankle/calf ink. Which do we like as far as location?