Monday, July 13, 2015

An alias assumed I do recognize

There is something about nudity that breaks the brain. That numbs the senses. That turns people kinda stupid.

 

Not all people, but enough to make the pattern quite noticeable.

 

One such nudity-induced derp is the inability to recognize a stripper when they have their Civilian Clothes on.

 

 

No, seriously... It happens to Me all of the time.

 

It's like some sort of Superman Syndrome.

 

 

Change Clark Kent's attire and no one knows who he is? Really?

 

Put jeans and a tee shirt on a stripper and people draw a blank? Jeebus...

 

 

Yeah yeah... I know. "But Paige, dudes at strip clubs aren't looking at your face LOL!" but really... they are. Most of the customers that I've entertained over the years have made excellent eye contact. Am I unusually blessed? I really don't think so.

 

When I'm at a strip club, I LOVE to People Watch. Strip clubs are amazing venues for such an activity. Add to that the 19.5 years that I've been going to said venues? Yeah, I've noticed A LOT of eye contact. So the age old phrase "My eyes are up here" isn't really coming into play here.

 

 

Could it be the lighting?

 

I like to call strip club lighting "The Pretty Lights". Mostly in response to everyone angsting about "The Ugly Lights" when the normal lights come up at the end of a bar night. I also can't deny that The Pretty Lights have been very good to me over the years. Heh. Yep. No shame. Tis the truth! Most strippers will confirm.

 

 

But I don't really get "Oh, I didn't recognize you in the bright lights!". I get "Oh I didn't recognize you with clothes on!".

 

It's like being a stripping Hannah Montana.

 

(Go ahead, make your Miley jokes now.)

 

I've racked my brain for ages over this phenomenon. Maybe I'll add this to the Stripper Physics list.

 

We may laugh at how hokey the whole Clark Kent Disguise is, BUT THIS IS HAPPENING FOR REAL OMGWTFBBQ!

 

I think that this is the sort of thing that Ivy League Colleges should do studies on.

 

STRIPPERS FOR SCIENCE!

 

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