Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

Dear Feminism,   How're you doing today? Are you feeling ok? You were doing so well, but then you had a relapse. I'm worried about you!   Yes, I suppose that this is an intervention. No worries, I haven't called in your loved ones and a television crew. This is just you and I, chatting about your health.   We've known each other a long time. I admit, for a while there, I was worried about some of your decisions. Slut shaming, turning against certain women instead of supporting all of us. But you made amazing progress since then. You embraced all women. You went from "Smut is demeaning" to "these women are empowered and sex positive!" and I was so proud! You had finally figured it all out. I celebrated your accomplishment.   It seems that you've changed your mind, though. You've taken a step backwards, and this concerns me. Now you're back to slut shaming... you're even shaming pixelated game characters and inked comic book ch...

Happy Caturday y'all. Whilst My Twitter has met a reasonable person's limit of cat pics, that's not why I'm here.   Today I'm here to tell you about the brain breaking experience that I was blessed with earlier today.     Browsing the Gates Of Heaven, AKA the cold soda selection at the gas station, My ears picked up on some teenage girls rambling on and on and on... About how amazing Miley Cyrus looked recently. They were molesting one of the girls' phone with their glassy little eyeballs. I suppose My watching them during a Cannot Even moment was obvious, because they stampeded over to My spot in front of carbonated nirvana, and proceeded to force Me to look at above mentioned Miley images. Mayhaps I look youthful enough to care, or mayhaps they assume that anyone equipped with a vagina cares, but they wanted My opinion on Miley's attire choices.   Correction... They wanted Me to echo their opinions on said attire. Alas, this was not meant to be! Th...

There is something about nudity that breaks the brain. That numbs the senses. That turns people kinda stupid.   Not all people, but enough to make the pattern quite noticeable.   One such nudity-induced derp is the inability to recognize a stripper when they have their Civilian Clothes on.     No, seriously... It happens to Me all of the time.   It's like some sort of Superman Syndrome.     Change Clark Kent's attire and no one knows who he is? Really?   Put jeans and a tee shirt on a stripper and people draw a blank? Jeebus...     Yeah yeah... I know. "But Paige, dudes at strip clubs aren't looking at your face LOL!" but really... they are. Most of the customers that I've entertained over the years have made excellent eye contact. Am I unusually blessed? I really don't think so.   When I'm at a strip club, I LOVE to People Watch. Strip clubs are amazing venues for such an activity. Add to that the 19.5...

Every now and then, some cheeky dude, usually (but not always) in their teens or early 20s, thinks its a compliment to call me a MILF.   Er... What? No. Just no.   And the brain breaking doesn't stop there. I'm seeing a lot of MILF porn that casted girls who were born either while I was in high school, or after I graduated.     Stop. Please. For the love of fuck...   There are 2 reasons why this is destroying my brain cells.   1) I am not a mother. Since I've never carried a child to term, adopted, and no one considers cats to be children in this context, there is no M in this. I leave you with just the ILF. So calling me a MILF only makes sense to you. It will not score you any sort of brownie points with me. I promise.   2) If I did have offspring, I do not consider myself old enough to be a MILF*. And when I see these perky, youthful gals in MILF porn? Argh!     I'm some rare freak, I guess, because my mind defines MILF d...

This blog post is per request...a pictorial history of my hair from 1999 until now. Wigs not included... I've got a masochistic side but c'mon people. Sheesh.                                                    

I'm putting a call out to y'all! I need some help...   Any of you readers out there drink Monster? Specifically the ones with the green pop tops? I need them. Many of them. Tons of them.     I'm building a dragon. Yes, a dragon. I am going to try my hand at creating a sculpture, and I need scales! I haven't chosen what I'm building the body of the dragon out of, but the pop top tabs will be PERFECT scales. So do you have any?     If you can send some, contact me on Twitter and let me know! Don't have Twitter? Really?!? Ok... then you can email me .   Let's make this happen!    

Guess who decided to ramble on about vidya? Huzzah! Gaming!   Lately I've been rather hooked on Plants Vs Zombies 2 . It's conveniently on my iPhone, and it's rather fun. I loved the original game , so when I heard about it's sequel...? Oh yeah!   VS FIGHT!   So to start things off, I played Plants Vs Zombies on the PC. I'm playing Plants Vs Zombies 2 on the above mentioned iPhone. So yeah, there are differences a'plenty. So when I compare the games, keep in mind that I'm not comparing a phone game vs a phone game...   One thing I like better about the sequel is the difference in the Adventure Modes. The original game has your basic areas: Day, Night, Pool, Fog, and Roof. Each area has unique challenges, which is fun... but the sequel's areas... aka eras, are much more diverse, fun, and very good looking. Instead of weather and lighting changes, the areas are a variety of time periods. Currently (they add a new area on occasion via app upg...