Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

My hair dyes under the black light. Cant wait to use them!!!

So much green it just ain't funneh. My favorite color!

You know those zits that are the size of Rhode Island, and never come to the surface? They lurk under the skin like painful trolls under a bridge, hiding and making life miserable? Whoever invented those needs to be kicked repeatedly in the genital area until death occurs. Just sayin. Ow. Fucking ow. I seem to always get them on My chin. Nowhere else. So not only are they painful, but they don't help My money either. Giant, swollen, painful chin. Cute. I mean really, who wants a stripper who looks like Jay Leno? Well, maybe this guy would but...

Another look into what the Casual At Home Paige looks like. I would live in this hoodie if I could.

Stripping is like Hotel California. There is always the possibility for checking out, but it sticks with you in certain ways. Not that I'm quitting, but even when I'm doing the most mundane things, there it is. Yesterday I spent some much needed time with a friend and her family. It was her, her husband, their 3 kids, his sister, and the sister's kid. Lots of awesomeness. At one point my friend asked Me to play DDR with them. Without even thinking about it, My reply was "Nuh uh, no dancing. It's my day off." Doh! :D

Blurry phone pic is blurry. Behold, the worst pool player ever!

When this shirt is on, I call them the Nom Tits. They will nom yer face off.

Someone asked Me what I tend to wear around the condo. Usually, I channel My Inner Hippie so this is a fairly common sight:

Even the toughest princess has to wonder about the risk in kissing the frog.

I received a freebie sample kit from NuboNau today. Yay! It came in a pretty, white, mesh bag. That's a keeper! Too nice to throw away :) Inside were samples of SheerinO'kho Outdoor Meetings Wintertime face cream , SheerinO'kho 1st Class Flight face cream , Pai Comfrey & Calendula body cream , Nude Moisture Balance , Nude Miracle Mask , Nude Advanced Eye Complex , John Masters Oragnics Blood Orange & Vanilla body wash , and matching body milk . Yay! Can't wait to use them. Maybe this big storm tonight will be a good reason to have bath time.

I arrived to work yesterday to find out that there had been some cut backs to save money. Less bouncers, less door girls. My spot as Monday Night Door Wench is secure, since I don't get paid to do it. But less bouncers? Yeah. We had no issues Monday, but no bouncer on Monday is not awesome. Sometimes, shit DOES happen on Monday. Ugh. Ok yeah we have the manager and the DJ if anyone needs help but... I prefer 3 Big Dudes instead of 2. The manager can do his thing, the DJ can do his, and we'd still have security. Bleh! We had one girl who was dancing in the VIP room and was... ew. The guy's hand on her ass looked like he was using her as a bowling ball, if you catch My drift. Gross. She's such a skank. But the idea of using skanky strippers as bowling balls is LULZ. One girl has been having a lot of home issues. She commented that she felt silly that Tootsy's was the only place she felt safe to turn to. Part of Me acknowledges that one needs more solid folks/places in...

One of My super awesome, smexy, fancy robes from My numerous shopping trips in China Town.

Booyah baby! Out and about, sportin My awesome jacket

I hope this picture makes GQ curse. LOL.... sorry, inside joke. But please enjoy some of DAT ASS!

Sometimes all I need to cheer Myself up is to put a lil flower in My hair :)

Had another round of technicians out here at the condo yesterday to work on My net connection, so I missed a day on the photo project :( I was able to snap this a bit before the 1st tech showed up LOL. I had just enough time to get dressed up, take the pic, and put My "mundane" clothes back on. Muhahahaa. Could you imagine if I had answered the door like this? Today I snapped a pic in My super comfy "palm frond" panties from Victoria's Secret. I call em that because the stripes and the colors remind me of dried palm fronds!

Here I am, after work. Despite it being Just Sitting At The Door, I'm always exhausted by 0230. So I have minimal energy to scrape off the War Paint. I get the lipstick off and just kinda collapse at the PC. This is what you'd see if you were there for it:

More dreams to discuss, or at least to put down on e-paper. In the first of the two dreams in question, I was at "Tootsy's" but, as always, it was a completely different looking bar. The stage was a runway only, and the majority of the seating in this small club were the chairs that went around the stage. This dream was short, but the main focus was that I was making VERY good tips on stage. Everyone was just handing over the cash! As it should be... heh! Ron, one of our bouncers, escorted Me off stage to a little back area where I was counting My tips. I was sorting them by bill type. $1s, $5s, $10s, $20s, etc. This is what I usually do. At one point, mid-count, I found a $3 and I laughed. Someone thought it'd be cute to make it and tip Me with it. In dreaming as well as in waking, I found this amusing. Once upon a time, there was a graphic made of a three dollar bill with My face in it, to go along with the phrase "queer as a three dollar bill" so I liked ...

Scope the smexy rainbow eyeshadow. I clearly rock the ghey. ;)

The email, the email... what what, the email. (Yes I do love StrongBad). I got a request for more profile pictures. Someone seems to lurv My nose! Just a quick pic of Moi checkin... yup. The email.

I actually do not know the story behind this shirt but... it's one of the shirts we have for sale at Tootsy's. There is also a Trust No Dick shirt. No idea. But they amuse Me. Hur hur.

I often dream about stripping. I have yet to delve into whether or not that is a good thing. The one thing that all of the stripping dreams have in common is that they are supposed to take place where I am currently working, but the club interior never looks right. Sometimes it's grand and better looking. Sometimes it isn't. Take the last two dreams for instance... In one, Tootsy's looked more like an old saloon. Lots of wood and a rustic feel to it. The stage, however... this I just don't have an explanation for. It was built more like the stage at the Fickle Filly out on Long Island. Plain, built into the wall like an alcove, and no pole. Barely room to walk around. The odd part? The stage floor was made out of mattresses. Yeah. Mattresses. Try fumbling around on those in heels! WTF. In the dream I had today, I was in this fancy club. The stage had tiers, and each tier had a pole or two, a fainting couch, and other swanky decor. The customers all had on tuxedos and go...

So My internets have been evil to Me. First the modem shit the proverbial bed, and now the wiring seems to be wonky. Expecting a tech tomorrow. But here's a bit of Catch Up on the 365 project: This one is capturing one of My newer habits. I play with My dice. I chew em, roll em around, etc. It's all Kyle's fault. I am a serious Nutcracker. On several levels.... Is it DAT ASS time? Why yes! And lastly, wig awesomeness!

Another Funday Monday at Tootsy's, starring yours truly... the fabulous door wench. Er, wait no. No... not really. My night & My tip bucket ended up getting cockblocked by a spider bite. Ow. I'm just sittin there, minding My own business (and the business of whoever is on stage or walkin in the door) when OWDAMMIT! >. A bit later it's burning pain + chills + freezing + nausea. Cute. Very sexy. So I was allowed to exit early, saving some face. Now I'm home and I feel like I got hit by the Flu Truck. Hoping a nice dose of Doctor Visit tomorrow will help. I don't need another Recluse Fiasco* And not only did I make minimal tips, I saw minimal stuff to snark on. The only thing being that booty clap + classic rock = hur dur, but to do it non stop, for 2/3 of Silver, Blue & Gold ? Wha?!?! No. Just, no. * - The morning before I was to go back to NYC from SoCal, I was bit by a Brown Recluse. I spent 3 days/nights on a bus with flu-like symptoms and pain. DISLIKE.

Apologies for how tired I look. It's been an exhausting week. But I am determined to keep this project going!

Being fabulous is hard work. Anyone who says otherwise is only fabulous in their own minds ;) I jest. Honest.

Artistic fun + My pics = YAY! This picture was taken by and altered by The Jay. The Jay is one of My super amazing, geektastic friends. I heart him. I also heart this pic.

The blow up doll of doom LOL. Specifically, the blow up doll of doom for Lee's birthday. She's supposed to be Belladonna but... hur hur.

I was a total glambaby with pink and glitter last night for the ghey bar.

Someone told me there's a girl out there, with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair.

Playing with new makeup = awesome.

Christmas isn't the only time for holiday lights. These I keep up all year.

Name that song hah! The following blog post is girlie in nature and totally materialistic. Some chicks, sissies, and clueless shopping boyfriends might enjoy this post. Just wanted to make a post about the lovely items I got this past week. I'm feeling like it's still My birthday! I got two of these box sets of makeup . 72 eye shadows, 24 lip glosses (potted in the one case), 6 blushes, 3 nail polishes, 3 lip glosses (tubes) 3 pencils, a pencil sharpener, 5 shadow applicators (felt-tip), and 5 brushes. It's like playing with a rainbow on My face! And the delish Samantha gave the company's products a thumbs up so... yay! I also got a set of hair pretties that are tasty tasty. Pinks and grays all around! Huzzah. Flowers, rhinestones, all sorts of wonderful! Here's a blurry pic of it. Alas, the interwebs is not bringing anything up about it. I shall have to take pictures all stylin soon for ya'll! I also got some nice head bands in blacks and reds. Yay! And this c...

One of My good friends has a teenage daughter who is obsessed with anime. Good, 'cause I am too! So she decided that, since I have white, anime-esque hairs, I needed to be a neko-girl! NYAH!

Rockin the New Year at Tootsy's!