Monday, October 20, 2014

Every time I speak my mind I'm lyrically critical

Hi! My name is Paige Delaney D'Winter and I love video games!


I've been playing video games since I was a wee lass, so probably since about 1980. Yes, I'm that old.



Get off my lawn.


The first gaming systems I owned as a child were the Colecovision (1982) and the IBM PC Jr (1984).




My very first favorite video game was Adventure for the Colecovision. Your character was a square. You fought dragons that kinda looked like ducks.



Not a lot of issues with pixelated boobs there, eh?


When I was a kid, I was a Super Duper Tom Boy (Deluxe Edition), but I've become quite a... chick, for lack of a better term. If you don't know who I am, I've embraced My femme side and I dove headfirst into the adult entertainment industry at age 18. So needless to say, I've kind of wandered the spectrum as far as how I identified as a biological female.


Recently, I've seen all of the chaos that is GamerGate, primarily on Twitter.



So, I've decided to make a long-winded blog post stating My view on this whole thing.


First off, I don't really give a shit if Zoe Quinn cheated on Eron Gjoni. No shits given. I also don't really give a shit if she did so with Nathan Grayson. Even more shits not given. Does cheating suck? Sure. But I don't really care if it's true. Is it true about the whole Sleeping Her Way To The Top thing? Also don't give a shit. It happens all of the time, in pretty much every single form of business. So I don't care. Does that sort of behavior suck for those that don't do it? Yes. But no one has shown me hardcore, irrefutable proof that these two people banged, then colluded to put her on a pedestal, professionally. So I continue to Not Give A Shit.


I do think that going on a Super Public Temper Tantrum was a shitty move on Gjoni's part. Bad form, dude. Keep that shit to yourself and your close pals. No need to start a smear campaign. It really did no good for anyone involved. I mean really. Look at how insane shit as become.



No one should be threatened. No one should be doxxed. No one.


But shit just got worse.


So here are the points that I'd like to make:


Both men and women are being threatened. People who do not identify as either gender are being threatened. This is not ok.


Both men and women are being doxxed. People who do not identify as either gender are being doxxed. This is not ok.


Women such as Zoe Quinn, Anita Sarkeesian, and Brianna Wu have major spotlights in all of this, major voices in all of this. Yet they choose to only point out that women are being victimized. In order for all of this to end, and for women such as these to stop being seen as Raging Harpy Hosebeasts, they need to use their huge followings to also say "Hey. Harassment, threats, and doxxing is bad. Not only against women. So if you are a follower of mine, please do not do such things in my name. Or in the name of our cause." I've personally tweeted this to all three women, and all three have ignored Me. Some of their followers have talked shit at Me for this.


Some say that the "women" who are spouting threats and doxxing men and other women are just sock puppets. This may be true. But it hasn't been proven. So the legit feminists need to take the above statement and sing it from the rooftops. Feminism isn't about Man Hate. So feminists need to make it clear that things such as #killallmen, threats of castration, and doxxing in the name of feminism is BAD.


I've watched feminism change over the years. Once Upon A Time, a common opinion amongst feminists was that sexually liberated women such as myself, who chose to be in the adult entertainment industry, were horrible people and what we do is a crime against women. Thankfully, this has changed over the years. Now I see a lot of feminists embracing that women such as myself are empowered by what we do. That we embrace our bodies and our sexuality. That slut-shaming is bad. That no one has the right to shame, harm, or harass a woman based on their attire or their actions. YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!! This makes me SO happy. I literally did several Snoopy-like happy dances. But the whole GamerGame thing has brought some opinions and articles to My attention. Things such as feminists shaming video game characters who are basically animated renderings of women like Me. Women in the gaming industry are putting down games that feature scantily clad female characters or the plot of Saving The Princess. For some reason, it's not ok to slut-shame a woman who wears minimal clothing and who says very sexy things, but when a video game character does it (hello, Bayonetta), it's a crime. This makes no sense to Me whatsoever! I agree that there need to be more types of women represented as characters in games. But the same goes for male characters. And how about transgendered characters? Genderqueer characters? Androgynous characters? I am all for variety in games. But I am not clueless to the fact that Hot Chicks in games has a huge demand. I for one LOVE seeing hot chicks in video games (mmmmmmm Ivy in Soul Calibur). I don't have issues with Unrealistic Armor on women in games. It's fiction. I laugh at it and plot future cosplay ideas. But I also laugh at how unrealistic other things are in video games. Such is a character carrying 23764875285825182517251 items. But it's still just a game. I also know that the Guy Saves The Princess plot is ancient. It's been in fiction for centuries. It's not going anywhere. It also has a big market. Folks still like that form of entertainment. Should there be more variety there too? Sure. Lemme have a princess saving the dude. Oh wait, that happened already. But sure, let's have it happen more. And again, let's include characters who aren't male or female in the way that society sees as "normal".


There is a lot of hypocrisy in this whole fiasco. From both sides. Each side has people pointing out the Bad Actions of the other side, yet both sides have people who are active in said Bad Actions. Again, both sides have people making threats, doxxing, etc. Not enough people on either side are standing up and saying "hey, both sides need to quit this shit" and this is a huge part of why this big ball of vitriol is not ending.


Blanket statements suck. If part of a group treats you like shit, don't denounce the whole group. Even if they simpy disagree with your opinions.Blanket statements about all female game developers being subpar or that they are in cahoots to get their games out there suck. So do blanket statements about people against all GG people. Some of them do not threaten. Some of them do not doxx. Some just don't agree with 100% of what the anti GG folks have to say. Oh well. Shit happens. Not everything you say or believe in is going to have the backing of 100% of the world. Suck it up and move on.


Some people out there, on both sides, are showing a lot of hate towards people like Me. I'm kinda sorta neutral in all this. I'm a woman but I love sexy video game characters and I don't take up the mantle of Super Angry Feminist. I have some GG people upset because I am not flaming the Anti GG people. I have Anti GG people upset because I'm not raging against all men. I'm choosing not to rage. I point out flaws. I laugh at some stupid shit. But I don't rage. I wont be a part of the problem.


Some people are saying that, because I love sexy chicks in games, and because I'm not kissing Zoe and Anita and Brianna's asses, I'm obviously a "tranny" and I should be castrated and die. Sweeties... I've been a Professionally Naked Woman for 18 years. I was born with a vagina. It's still there. There is a huge group of people in the world who can vouch for My vagina. I would also like to state that it is NOT OK to use "tranny" as a slur. This is a disgusting insult to the transgendered community. This is also something that the Big Three ladies in Anti GG need to tell their followers. Trans-shaming is NOT OK.


GamerFruit is awesome. It is also awesome that GG people are embracing a total stranger's import business, making him logos, and starting charity events in the name of GamerFruit. Kudos! See? Not everyone in GG is doing bad things.


Anita Sarkeesian gets a lot of threats. She continues to travel and speak. That's very cool that she isn't going to back down. HOWEVER. Her idea that Utah needs to change it's gun laws because of threats against her is honestly unrealistic. Several states allow concealed carry. I live in one of those states. If you are planning to go to a state with such a law while you are receiving frequent death threats, you need to asses your plan to go there. Is it worth it? An entire state cannot change it's law overnight, and it won't do it just for you. She has the right to feel safe when she speaks, but Utah residents also have the right to carry weapons if they are licensed to do so. If I had been her? I would not be speaking live in states where a higher form of security can be implemented. Does that suck? Yes. But hey, we're in the internet age. She doesn't have to be live to get her point across. To point fingers at Utah and it's laws is silly, IMHO. Point your fingers all you want at the jackholes who make the threats.


Yes, the lack of women in the gaming industry is bad. But the lack of people who do not identify as woman or man in the industry is also bad. But throwing a hissy fit isn't going to solve it. Making calm, non-biased statements in favor of equality in the industry is a great thing to do. Not reprimanding the folks who doxx and threaten in the name of equality for women? Bad. Tsk.


Zoe Quinn made a very immature tweet that will in no way help her cause. I pointed this out to her in a very calm manner. Her response wasn't to talk to Me as an adult. Her response to Me was to make the textual version of fart noises. Also not going to help her cause. Shit like this is just going to keep fueling the fire. It's also just going to make feminists look stupid. No one really, truly wins that way.


An anti GG girl was threatened by GG people. I tried to reassure her that not all of us out there are against her. I also told her that I get threats too. I wanted her to see that she isn't alone and that it's happening on both sides. Instead of talking to Me like an adult, she told Me that she was blocking Me. Mature. Also not going to help this Big Burrito Of Drama stop.


Both sides need to regroup, act like adults, and come to agreements. Agreements that video games and the industry that creates and sells them need to have a huge variety in gender representation. And sexuality representation. And race representation. Both sides need to make it known that the extremists on both sides need to stop being violent asshats.


People need to stop speaking for Me. I am a woman but I am not exactly like every other woman in the world. I am not exactly like every other woman gamer.