Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

I recently had the grand pleasure of ordering from Sin City Playwear . They have some seriously sexy lingerie , so how could I resist? I decided to go with the Stretch Velvet Kimono Mini Dress for Hallows. I've seen the outfit around on the interwebs and I've always liked the look of it. This is what the promo pic looks like: Now yes, My geeky inner voice shouted "NOT A KIMONO!!" but this should, in no way, reflect on Sin City. This title was given to the outfit by it's creators, not the companies that sell it. So My beloved costume/AZN aficionados, resume breathing now, k? Onward!! Whoever handles the orders and shipping at Sin City is/are champs. Serious champs. I hope they get lots of appreciative sex. Seriously. The outfit arrived so fast, I looked up from My office's mailbox to check for Superman. Holy speedy delivery! Major kudos there. I also had a great customer service experience via email. Alison sent numerous emails to Me, updating Me on status and ...

Today's strippery topic is Farting. Yes.... farting. Gas. Tooting. Letting it rip. Yes, strippers fart. Why am I bringing this to light? Because I recently received an email asking if it's hard to hold it all in until AFTER work. AAAAAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAAAA!!!! No, really. Hold it on? All shift? Not gonna happen. Hell, we aren't THAT mysterious and magical. Ok maybe we are but we fart at work. Trust me. Some girls might choose to let them out in the bathroom or dressing room.... But there will always be those who will use farts as weapons. Yep. Cheap, rude dipshits sitting at the stage? You might get gassed for being said cheap, rude dipshits. Or if a hated coworker is up on stage after a Fart-weilding lass, there might be some Crop Dusting done on stage right as the last song ends... But yes, Terry from North Texas... we fart (somewhere) at work.

Trust. Let's talk about it shall we? Trust in titty bars? Well yes, but this is specific. This is about trust between a stripper and their Significant Other(s). A major work hazard of stripping is rocky relationships. The industry breeds insecurity, burn out, crankiness, and lack of trust. It sucks! But today we're gonna focus on the trust part. I've often heard tales of woe from my Strippery Sisters. Tales of their Other Halves being suddenly grumpy about the whole stripping thing. Demanding retirement even!! WTF?? Um... no. Be it a lover they've met while already stripping, or be it someone they were already involved with when they got into the biz... there has to be trust! It's just a job dagnabbit! If you trust your woman, there is no reason to want her out of the strip club. Yes, she will be in various states of undress. Yes, dudes will see that. But it's just nudity. Be proud that YOUR woman is smokin hot and desirable! Roll around in that pride!...

Ahhh Huey Lewis, how I adore thee... Sometimes it makes Me quite sad to see the State Of Things in the stripping world. I miss the better money flow of My early years, even the flow I merely observed, as a Non Dancing Employee, in the clubs during the 90s. A biggy that I would see that proves My point? Back in The Day, a girl could (and would) make enough off of the more commonplace Big Spender and then hand him off to another girl who hadn't made her $$ yet that night. Yep. It used to happen. Who really  sees this much anymore? Too much Cold Shoulder, cutthroats, the shite economy, etc... I miss classier herds of dancers too. Not so much the whole Gown Club thing as the way ladies held themselves... presented themselves. On and off stage. Meh. Call Me a sentimental old fool. Tis all good. But I'd kill for a time machine. Despite all of the Wacky Hijinx I could get into in other eras, I'd still pop by the 80s or 90s to get My stripper on like they used to.

So this sad looking chick got onto the bus today and started just losing her shit. Either she was a super newb stripper, a tweaker stripper, or just a classless stripper. Maybe it was a case of D) all of the above... She got up on the bus and started declaring to all, "DON'T YOU MOTHERFUCKERS LOOK AT ME! I'M A STRIPPER MOTHERFUCKERS!! YOU MOTHERFUCKERS GOTTA PAY TO LOOK AT ME!!!" As a friend once said, "oh honey noooooo." I laughed loudly when she got the boot off of the bus. Bitch only lasted one stop.... Man I miss there being more classy, clued in strippers....