Your Neighborhood Professional Deviant

Played around a bit whilst bored. :D I think it came out fun.

As much as I hate to admit it, I am a slave to texting. LOL... no really. Not like, Mindless Teenager Textzombie sorta hooked. I live in a semi-basement, 100% cinder block condo. Reception = FML. Texting works 95% of the time, where as calls in/out work maybe 20% of the time. Add to that the fact that strip club + loud music = cant hear phone? Yeah, texting is My friend. I'm actually kinda pleased with My lil ENV2. It's not New And Special And Shiny, but I dig it :D

I seriously hate having tan lines. I would MUCH rather have an all over tan. Alas, thanks to using buses and bicycles, I have super dark lower arms, then I have My basic tan from tanning at the beach, and then I have the pale spots where My Playboy bikini hides My skin from the sun. MEH!!!

I fucking adore My Kariza wrap. Despite the whole "wear it 1000 ways!" advert for it, I most often wear it simply as a skirt. I wear it out to eat, to the beach for sure, to work, etc. I need to get more! :D

Eh, sometimes. On Sundays, because I rarely work, I am all about cheering on My Jets. I totally have My green & white on. I was raised on NFL (amongst other sports) so yeah, right on! Mondays however... not so much. Mondays are My designated Door Wenching nights. Football and strip clubs, in My experience, are strange bedfellows. Either the club is a ghost town and tips suck, or the customers have their eyes glued to the flat screens and not the titties and again... tips suck. Once Upon A Time, at a club I worked at 3 years ago, I had a rather WTF REALLY? experience thanks to NFL + strip club. At this particular club in question, they had a secondary stage that was quite small compared to the main stage. It was a short runway, with a huge flat screen TV at the back of it. Customers could sit at either side of the stage. Nothing really weird about the set up, IMHO... but one time, during a football game which happened to be playing on said television, I was on this mini stage. Ther...

I'd like to do more writing. I have ideas for working on a book or perhaps a few. What it's like to be Ms Deviant. Les souvenirs de Paige. I get told, quite frequently, that I should. LOL. And there is still the stripper comic that I'd like to get up on the net. All I need is an artist. And I think I'd really enjoy writing articles for magazines and e-zines. There are so many "hot chick writes about ________" these days, but I still want in on the action. I think it would be fun! I could write 'till I'm blue about sexy stuff. BDSM, being a Pro Dommes, stripping, porn, etc. But I think I could also have a grand time with something less sexy, but as seen by a sexy person. Sports, video games, gardening, cooking, etc.

Remember how I once said I am not dainty when I eat? Yeah, how about some more proof? Here I am fuckin up some Blue Crabs during an All You Can Eat thing. I live for those types of things. Hah! And of course, I'm rockin the Playboy gear as usual!

Nah, ending that quote is too easy... I keep promising to redo My entire website. Shame on Me! Most of the time I don't have the energy. I'm so picky that I want to do it all Myself, and to be honest.. right now things aren't SO lucrative that I'd be willing to hire someone else to do it. MEH. Soon... I really do swear. LOL I want to change up the overall look/layout, switch up the color scheme to fit My new look, update the galleries... I'd like to get a real store going, MAYBE a pay section, I'd love to get the comic going, a webcam portal for Myself and hopefully other ladies, and run My clothing line from the site as well. Argh. I am Lazy Perv, here me yawn.

A few photos from the Naughty School Girl party at Tootsy's the other weekend! Enjoy! :D I hope to get some more for ya'll soon!

So I've spent the past few days working on My tan with My wifey. The awesomeness of living across the street from a beach! I'm very meticulous about tanning. Even amounts of time on each side. I tend to do an hour on one side, then flip! I'm like a fuckin rotisserie chicken, but hotter. And less likely to be used as a food source.

Welcome to the dunes of the Sahara... No, wait. Those are My tits. LOL! This is what they look like, close up, whilst I was laying out on the beach. :D

If I set for myself a task, be it so trifling, I shall see it through. How else shall I have confidence in myself to do important things? - George Clason I have such... interesting goals. * I'd like to be in a music video, or on the cover of an album. * Speaking of music, I'd like to be the inspiration for a song. * I'd love to run My own dungeon or strip club. It's as close to retirement as I'd like to get LOL * I'd love to get even a tiny little part in a mainstream TV show or movie. * I want to travel more. Not only places in the US like Vegas, but abroad. I want to see India, Italy, Morocco, Most of the UK, a lot of Europe. * I want to get My clothing line off of the ground. * I would kill to have a summer place back in My beloved NYC, and keep My condo as the winter home here in Florida.

I'm really hoping to be in a few DVDs someday. Hopefully soon! Yay porn. :D I'm very picky about what kinds I'd do though. I'd love to do a bunch of lesbian porn. I'd like to do the basic stuff, and maybe put a lesbian twist on the stereotypical hetero plots. Lesbian MILF, Lesbian student/teacher, lesbian stripper/customer (finding a club to use would be hard though. Baby Blue gets used a lot but that's in Canada!), picking up a girl and doing it in an alley. Yeah that one would be fun! :D And of course fetish DVDs. I'd like to do a lot of straight up fetish stuff, non-sexual. Bondage, sadistic scenes, etc. I've had the Living Xmas Tree idea playing around in My mind for ages now. I could churn out foot/heel fetish DVDs by the truck load LOL. I think I'd do some actual dildo play with males and trannies, but I'd save the actual sexy sex scenes for the ladies. ;) can you tell that I'm vagina-oriented?

Someday I will upgrade the cans. For now, I will make do with clutching them a lot to make them look bigger lol

Yeah, a twofer... as promised. Felt a wee bit better today, so Wifey and I hit the beach across the street from My condo. The sun was good for what ails Me :)Behold, the Unglamorous Moi Sans Makeup. Hur hur. I love how empty My area of the beach is, I can hike up the back of My bikini to tan My ass!

I hate being sick. I become a big baby, I swear it! I want someone to feed me soup, brush My hair, and rub My shoulders. Hold My hand while I whine LOL! My cats are ok at the cuddly part, but they suck at fetching soup. I took Monday off from door wenching thanks to a fever of 101, aches, etc. Bleh! At this rate I might be out of commission all week, which is a pain in My wallet. If it gets any worse, I might be glued to My bed for a while, so the 365 photo project might be a Catch Up thing for a bit. Worst case scenario... I will post whatever days I miss in one post. I'll give stripping this, I don't need a doctor's note when I call out, and I wont get fired for it. And I'm sure some folks think "suck it up and work!" but really, who wants a lap dance from a contagious person? Ew. And smoke + breathing issues = DO NOT WANT.

Kiss My plaid! Rockin a sexy new skirt for the recent Naughty School Girl Party at Tootsy's. We all looked smexy, but alas, the party wasn't lucrative.

I fucking love my ink and the robe and My cleavage. Life is fucking amazing. And sometimes I let you in on it.

I *heart* Fleshweld. That is all. :P

All that walking and bike riding = yay.

Yes, more sushi. OM NOM NOM NOM. I'm on a serious kick lately. Must. Have. More.

I have never been a dainty eater. I've got manners, but I don't rock the dainty, tiny portions of food. Especially with sushi. Sushi is My comfort food. I'd eat it every day. I used to! When I still lived out on Long Island, I'd eat it EVERY day. Have it delivered to Xpressions, My home, etc. Tonight I had some delivered. The poor folks at the restaurant assumed it was for several people, so they stocked Me up on chop sticks LOL. Here's a peek into what it's like eating sushi with Me: Gotta start with a seaweed salad! Here we have a Tanzana roll (hamachi, asparagus, scallion, avocado, masago) and a Beauty & the Beast roll (1/2 is tuna, scallions, avocado, asparagus, masago, the other half is eel, scallions, avocado, asparagus, masago): And this is a Kiss roll (Tuna, white tuna, avocado, scallion, asparagus, masago) and a Califoria roll:

Chug 21 is my game. I've been rockin it for ages and it's my daily ritual at any bar I work at with a touch screen game. I start my shift with a round or ten LOL.

I snagged up a bottle of Professional Silk Works recently and holy stuff does My hair love it to death! With all the bleaching I do, My hair feels like satin now. AND it's great on the skin too. I was kinda *arch eyebrows* when the bottle said "for hair AND skin" but it's so true. And it smells so gooooooooooooooooooood. I'm addicted. It's official.

On My porch, waiting for My wifey to come get Me! I thought I'd say hello. Yeah, this is how I say hello! LOL

Jello shots! I said I could do twenty of them. Everyone scoffed, but I did it! And then some. MUAHAHAHAAA!

Once upon a time, in a strip club in Merritt Island, I used a hard plastic box as a tip collector/purse. I covered it in fun stickers. Said stickers amused many customers. The box has become a sort of legend from that time. Note the crack on the top of the box? That's from when I had to hit some douche bag customer upside the head. Oops.

This is what My day off turned into. Even hanging out at Tootsy's can be lucrative.

I love champagne. I'd drink it every night if I could. Luckily a special someone has been keeping Me sipping it a lot lately. I like to call this photo "one down, one to go" LOL

I love this bra so fucking much, but holy shit it is NOT comfy! The price I pay for being hot. LOL

Yes, I'm showing off the mad cash. Yes, I am that girl. LMAO! As much as I love the whole Make It Rain thing, I also love being tipped wrapped stacks. Muhahahaaa.

My most favorite robe. I live in it when I'm being lazy at home. I got it back in Chinatown, when I still lived in NYC. If it were up to Me, I'd have tons of them, in every color combination! Heehee.

MWAH! Is it obvious yet that I love glitter?

You know why I love being at Tootsy's so much? Totally not the (lack of) oodles of cash there. It's that, with a handful of people there, we have that Super Awesome Dysfunctional Family thing going on that I haven't seen since the IR2 days. Granted, there are less of us in the family at Tootsy's than there were at IR2. But those who count, count! Prime example: When I had the black eye the other week? I showed up to work and was freaking out about how the makeup I had wasn't covering it up well enough. Everyone who "counts" chipped in their makeup so I could fix My poor face. Even the manager, Bill, dug up extra makeup from the office for Me to use. Teamwork saved My face!

Oh internets, how you make Me make this face so often. All the berjillions of instances of WTFery. At this point I'm surprised more people, Myself included, aren't walking around with this look permanent on our faces. Oh, and Coke Zero is the breakfast of champions.

Being featured on Playboy.com was the most amazing 2 events of my life. It was a goal that I saw through and succeeded at. So I try to collect a lot of Playboy gear. This shirt is a lot of fun, and it makes My tits look huge!

I don't get enough champagne anymore. This is a crime, IMHO. I should be sipping it more often.

Size matters sometimes. ;)

I borrowed a helmet from Other Paige so I would be safe from more black eyes.

I have yet to work at a club that will allow Me to sport these bad boys without a thong underneath LOL. So I usually rock a nude-colored one. Sometimes a hint isn't enough ;)