Friday, October 21, 2016

I love the colorful clothes she wears

Sometimes I stumble across a fictional character that I NEED to cosplay as, even if I'm not familiar with said work of fiction. Today was one of those stumbly days!


Quoting Wiki for ya, this is what the character is from:


"Japan Animator Expo or Japan Anima(tor)'s Exhibition is a weekly series of original net animations released as part of a collaboration between Hideaki Anno's Studio Khara and Dwango, consisting of various anime shorts produced by many directors."


This delightful character is from the 3rd episode, entitled "ME!ME!ME!"


Her color scheme is so shockingly wonderful. I need to be her, even for just a day.












She seems like the kind of character that would be fun to cosplay as, personality-wise...


Thursday, May 19, 2016

Mindin' other people's business seems to be high-toned

Some days I love being a kinkster and being a part of the scene/profession. Some days I want to set people on fire. Slowly. One match at a time.


Go ahead and laugh. Think I'm kidding. Meanwhile I'm stockpiling matches like the Little Match Girl... of Hans Christian Andersen's worst nightmares come true.



Tee hee?


Look, I have been debating Financial Domination with other kinkster for years. YEARS. I have been standing up for a perfectly reasonable fetish, not just because other kinksters think it's a bad/fake fetish, but also because the Insta-Dommes of the internet are dragging the kink down into the proverbial mud.



I just can't stand by and let it happen. I'm too much of a stubborn Bitch.


Some of you know the term "Insta-Domme" from My past rants. For those new to this title, let Me explain.



Firstly, it's not just the financial domination fetish that gets these wanna be's. It's all over the kink spectrum. Thanks to our BFF, the Internet. Along comes a random web surfer, usually female but this title is Equal Opportunity. They see that real Dominants are getting fame, attention, money, etc... they want in. So they sit back, observe those of us who actually know what We're doing... then copy/paste verbatim what they think will get them the same spotlight. They vomit up the same catch phrases and key words that we use. They take the overused middle finger pic, while calling people losers. Sure, some submissives eat that up, but those subs deserve real Domination. Not a mimicry of it.



So there you have it. the Insta-Dommes, BDSM's little parrots. Clueless parrots. Generally useless parasitical parrots.


Polly wanna shut the fuck up?


Financial Domination is a legitimate fetish and should be respected as such. No kink shaming, dammit. There are Dominants who want to control everything in a sub’s life, including finances. They may want to be spoiled as well as worshiped. And there are submissives who are equally into this fetish and willing participants. So pull your latex panties out of your asses and calm the fuck down. If it’s not your kink, fine. But respect the fetishists who ARE into it. Back off. Mind your own damned (and kinky) business. You’re whining and shaming does nothing for the fetish lifestyle. It helps in no way and it will not make Financial Domination magically disappear.



There. Rant over. Ahhhh. I feel so much better. Now back to work!



Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Ask me why I'll say I love you

Once a week, I plan on doing a Q&A vlog. I will gather up all the questions that y'all send in via My account, and answer them in video format.


Aren't you excited?


You had better be!


I will take questions on pretty much anything...


  • Adult entertainment
  • Sexality
  • Gaming
  • Furries
  • Fractal art
  • And so much more


So slap the question mark below and submit your question(s)!


Thursday, March 10, 2016

got my blue nail polish on

Oh Sally's, when you put your B1G1 nail polish display by the front door.... so evil!



12 polishes for less that $30 on a gift card. The happiness is real.


I'm going to give a short opinion on each, with a link to a professional pic of the color so you get a better idea. My phones don't always do them justice.


So let's review...



ORLY Left to right:


ORLY Nite Owl (20749): A nice, shimmery taupe. Slightly warm in bottle.


ORLY Ingenue (20046): Oh Em Gee... In love here! Shimmery pink and gold. It's a stunner!


ORLY Darkest Shadow (20823): Extremely dark red with red glitter. Very sexy, very goth. Do love this over a red or a black base.


ORLY Gumdrop (20733): The name makes Me think of pinks, but this pale, minty color is a lot of fun. Part of the teal spectrum IMHO, it looks great with My olive skin tone.


ORLY Midnight Show (20859): A lovely, ultra dark blue.



OPI Left to right:


OPI Muir Muir On The Wall (NL F61): A shimmery plum with a gold tinge at certain angles.


OPI Peace & Love & OPI (NL F56): A fun, oil slick-esque shimmer polish with plums and teals.


OPI S-ageless Beauty (IS L39): The website's pic is a bit more yellow that what I have in bottle. What I'm looking at is more of a super, super, pale, springy green. Almost a wintery color, it's that pale.


OPI I Knead Sour Dough (NL F60): What a strange name for this shimmery mauve-rose-pink.



Nina Ultra Pro left to right:


Nina Island Fever (709553): One of My addictions is opalescent glitter polishes. I slap them on over everything. Whites, blacks, blues, pinks, etc. This one has that fun, uneven bits of glitter. It makes your base color look more like an opal. Looks like this one is discontinued! Glad I snagged one.


Nina Heat Wave (709559): Hot, neon orange!Suits My current hair color perfectly!


Nina Lime Light (709216): Another possibly discontinued color. This type of green a) tends to stain your nails so put on a base coat first! b) tends to glow under black lights. A perfect stripper polish! I tend to hoarde these types of greens.


Wednesday, December 02, 2015

I hate to say it but face the facts

Dear Feminism,


How're you doing today? Are you feeling ok? You were doing so well, but then you had a relapse. I'm worried about you!


Yes, I suppose that this is an intervention. No worries, I haven't called in your loved ones and a television crew. This is just you and I, chatting about your health.


We've known each other a long time. I admit, for a while there, I was worried about some of your decisions. Slut shaming, turning against certain women instead of supporting all of us. But you made amazing progress since then. You embraced all women. You went from "Smut is demeaning" to "these women are empowered and sex positive!" and I was so proud! You had finally figured it all out. I celebrated your accomplishment.


It seems that you've changed your mind, though. You've taken a step backwards, and this concerns me. Now you're back to slut shaming... you're even shaming pixelated game characters and inked comic book characters? Why? Every woman should be proud, able to wear whatever clothing (or lack thereof) they want, and should be sexually liberated. Remember? You were all about that. Now this? Selectivity isn't your best look, I'm just saying.


This setback that has me so worried? It's not just bad for you, it's bad for all women. It's unhealthy. I want you to be healthy. I want you to be your very best. I'm your friend, your supporter. All I've ever wanted is the very greatest of things for you. If I have to sit you down and point out things that you're doing wrong, I will. So I am. Because I care.


There are a lot of us who are worried about you. So many people who want to see you get better. So many people concerned about your well being. If you took a moment to see all of us, to listen to our advice... I promise you, things will turn around. Things can be amazing. We only want what's best for you. We only care about your success.


Another concern is your opinion of men these days. Remember when you were about equality? That was the way to do it! Everybody equal in everybody's eyes. Yay! But what's all this that you're about now? Hashtags like 'killallmen'? Trying to obliterate Father's Day? Instead of aiming for equal representation of women in various workplaces and groups, you're trying to nuke all of the men? And to see a man actually commit suicide because of the rabid exclusion that you've gotten so into? This doesn't make sense to me. It doesn't make sense to a lot of people who love you. To be honest, it scares us. It's such an unhealthy outlook on life, and ultimately it will be very bad for you. Not to mention that it's going against everything that you once stood for. Equality. Hypocrisy isn't a good look for you either. As your friend, I want you to always look your best!


Just know that, even though it might look like I'm against you, I'm not. I'm just trying to help you, to do what is best for you. We've been together too long for me to give up on you now.


Saturday, October 10, 2015

A thoughtless stream of words

Happy Caturday y'all. Whilst My Twitter has met a reasonable person's limit of cat pics, that's not why I'm here.


Today I'm here to tell you about the brain breaking experience that I was blessed with earlier today.



Browsing the Gates Of Heaven, AKA the cold soda selection at the gas station, My ears picked up on some teenage girls rambling on and on and on... About how amazing Miley Cyrus looked recently. They were molesting one of the girls' phone with their glassy little eyeballs. I suppose My watching them during a Cannot Even moment was obvious, because they stampeded over to My spot in front of carbonated nirvana, and proceeded to force Me to look at above mentioned Miley images. Mayhaps I look youthful enough to care, or mayhaps they assume that anyone equipped with a vagina cares, but they wanted My opinion on Miley's attire choices.


Correction... They wanted Me to echo their opinions on said attire. Alas, this was not meant to be! The images that they showed Me were very much in My file of Oh Honey No.



Welp... My lack of enthusiasm for Mileywear© didn't go over well. The flock of 13 year olds proceeded to deduce that, since I do not rabidly adore the fashion faux pas I was presented with, I must be a "CIS, white, hetero homophobe".


Yes you read Me right, not adoring everything that Miley Cyrus wears makes Me a terribad person. No, I'm not kidding. This shit is so dumb, it deserves multiple memes.







After the initial shock wore off, I proceeded to explain to them that I had comeout of tthe closet before Miss Fashion Police's Most Wanted was even born. I ended things off with a very classy "I am old enough to be your Grandma, if I had been scandalous. Get yo' punk asses outta here! What the fuck is wrong with your misfiring little minds?"


Holy shit. Please tell Me that at least SOME of their peers can function in public better than that...

Monday, July 13, 2015

An alias assumed I do recognize

There is something about nudity that breaks the brain. That numbs the senses. That turns people kinda stupid.


Not all people, but enough to make the pattern quite noticeable.


One such nudity-induced derp is the inability to recognize a stripper when they have their Civilian Clothes on.



No, seriously... It happens to Me all of the time.


It's like some sort of Superman Syndrome.



Change Clark Kent's attire and no one knows who he is? Really?


Put jeans and a tee shirt on a stripper and people draw a blank? Jeebus...



Yeah yeah... I know. "But Paige, dudes at strip clubs aren't looking at your face LOL!" but really... they are. Most of the customers that I've entertained over the years have made excellent eye contact. Am I unusually blessed? I really don't think so.


When I'm at a strip club, I LOVE to People Watch. Strip clubs are amazing venues for such an activity. Add to that the 19.5 years that I've been going to said venues? Yeah, I've noticed A LOT of eye contact. So the age old phrase "My eyes are up here" isn't really coming into play here.



Could it be the lighting?


I like to call strip club lighting "The Pretty Lights". Mostly in response to everyone angsting about "The Ugly Lights" when the normal lights come up at the end of a bar night. I also can't deny that The Pretty Lights have been very good to me over the years. Heh. Yep. No shame. Tis the truth! Most strippers will confirm.



But I don't really get "Oh, I didn't recognize you in the bright lights!". I get "Oh I didn't recognize you with clothes on!".


It's like being a stripping Hannah Montana.


(Go ahead, make your Miley jokes now.)


I've racked my brain for ages over this phenomenon. Maybe I'll add this to the Stripper Physics list.


We may laugh at how hokey the whole Clark Kent Disguise is, BUT THIS IS HAPPENING FOR REAL OMGWTFBBQ!


I think that this is the sort of thing that Ivy League Colleges should do studies on.




Wednesday, July 01, 2015

Stacys mom has got it goin on

Every now and then, some cheeky dude, usually (but not always) in their teens or early 20s, thinks its a compliment to call me a MILF.


Er... What? No. Just no.


And the brain breaking doesn't stop there. I'm seeing a lot of MILF porn that casted girls who were born either while I was in high school, or after I graduated.



Stop. Please. For the love of fuck...


There are 2 reasons why this is destroying my brain cells.


1) I am not a mother. Since I've never carried a child to term, adopted, and no one considers cats to be children in this context, there is no M in this. I leave you with just the ILF. So calling me a MILF only makes sense to you. It will not score you any sort of brownie points with me. I promise.


2) If I did have offspring, I do not consider myself old enough to be a MILF*. And when I see these perky, youthful gals in MILF porn? Argh!



I'm some rare freak, I guess, because my mind defines MILF differently than what I'm seeing pitched as MILFs in porn these days.


In my mind, it was always you're a kid. You have a friend. That friend is you age, or near to so. That friend has a mom. That friend's mom is hot.


Now, I don't really like thinking about like... 10 year olds thinking about sex, so when all of this is playing out in my mind, that "kid" is actually a teenager so... Yeah.


This is why my brain doesn't process 20 year olds with toddlers as MILFs. My brain processes 40 year olds with post-pubescent kids as MILFs


Back in 2008, Law & Order: SVU had an episode called Babes. In this episode, some high school girls are having babies. Plot and outcome aside, one quote almost caused my brain to explode, which would have gotten glitter all over the living room ceiling. One of the teen girls said "It rocks, huh? We're totally going to be the hottest MILFs on the block." There are a lot of times when I want to reach into the TV screen and strangle the character. In this case, I wanted to strangle whoever wrote the script.


Go ahead, call me weird. Call me old fashioned. Just don't call me a MILF.



OK close enough...




* - I have 2 years 5 months and 25 days until I reach what I consider MILF age. That's 909 days. Keep count if you like, but I've been trying to become a mother for a long time, and medically the odds are not in my favor...


Tuesday, June 30, 2015

You splattered the bathroom with your hair dye

This blog post is per request...a pictorial history of my hair from 1999 until now. Wigs not included... I've got a masochistic side but c'mon people. Sheesh.